after that Heloise hardly saw them. Greg was recording, and Miriam sat in on the sessions with him and took the baby with her so she could nurse him, and they left Heloise at home with the nanny and Arielle. And after recording Greg and Miriam went out with his band almost every night. She made no effort to take Heloise anywhere, and when Hugues called to see how she was, Heloise said politely that she was having a nice time. She didn’t know what else to say and didn’t want to be disloyal to the mother she hardly ever saw and was afraid to lose entirely.
So she spent most of her time playing with Arielle, and with baby Joey when he was home. And the nanny was pleasant to her. She took Heloise to Harrods to shop for some clothes, and to Hyde Park, and to the stables of Buckingham Palace and the changing of the guard.
Heloise spent most of the week at the house, wishing she were home. She felt out of place and as though she were a guest and not part of the family. They made no effort to make her feel included, and sometimes they forgot that she was there, until the nanny reminded them. And on New Year’s Day Heloise got in an argument with her mother, who was telling Greg how much she had hated living at the hotel, and what a bore it was, and even more so during the endless two years before that when Hugues had been renovating it, and what a drag it was, and so was Hugues.
“It’s not a drag, and Papa isn’t either,” Heloise shouted unexpectedly, as Miriam stared at her in surprise. She was normally so docile that Heloise even surprised herself with her own vehemence. “The hotel is beautiful, and it’s even prettier now, and Papa does a wonderful job,” she hotly defended it, and her father. He worked so hard to make everything perfect, and Heloise thought it was. It was her home, and she hated Miriam criticizing it to Greg, and even more so her father.
“I just didn’t like living there,” Miriam explained. “All those people around all the time, and your father was always too busy to spend time with me. Not like Greg,” she said.
Tears sprang to Heloise’s eyes. She hated hearing her father criticized and compared to Greg. It had been a hard week for her, feeling like a stranger in their house and lives, with two babies who had taken her place in her mother’s heart. Miriam made no secret of it, and it was obvious to everyone, including Heloise. The butler and nanny had talked about it quietly, that Heloise was always ignored or left out, but Greg and Miriam didn’t seem to know or care. The servants all felt sorry for the little girl, and they thought she was a genuinely nice kid. She told them all kinds of funny stories about her father’s hotel.
“I love living at the hotel,” Heloise said to her mother, in response to what she’d said to Greg. “Everyone is really nice to me, and all kinds of important people stay at the hotel. Like Eva Adams, and other movie stars and senators, and the president even stayed there once. And the president of France.” She wanted to impress them, but she knew she couldn’t. Nothing she or her father did mattered to them. They were only interested in each other, their babies and themselves.
She ran to her room in tears after that, and the nanny came to console her and brought her hot chocolate to make her feel better. Heloise told her about the English high tea they served at the hotel, and the nanny said it sounded wonderful to her, and that she was sure the hotel was beautiful. She felt sorry for the little girl.
Heloise had been there for ten days when Hugues called her again. Although he missed her fiercely, he had tried to refrain from calling so he didn’t interfere, but he hated the forlorn way that Heloise sounded when she came to the phone. He asked if she was having fun, and she burst into tears and said she wanted to come home. She was lonely in her mother’s house. He promised to work it out with her mother, and called Miriam that night. She
Learning to Kill: Stories