hand
into my right sleeve, retrieving the bloody blade to set it in my lap. It
wobbled with the movement of the truck, rocking back and forth with a beautiful
eeriness I admired.
God, what was wrong with me?
“What happened?” he yelled now,
slamming his hand against the wheel, but I didn’t flinch. I was waiting for it.
“It was the cowboy at the bar.” I
said, my body clenching as I thought of the way he flicked the tip of his hat
down toward me. That had set me off. My hand gripped the knife tighter. I
should have sliced through his throat.
“Did you kill him?” Ryan yelled.
“Jesus Christ, Evie . Did you kill him?”
“No, I didn’t kill him, although I
should have,” I replied coolly, loosening the grip on my knife. I let it sink
back onto the fabric of the skirt. It would have to be burned, along with my
jacket. I would need another new jacket. How many more of these would I need in
my lifetime?
“What did he do?” Ryan asked, his
voice now leveling off as he moved his hand behind his head, rubbing his scalp
hard.
“He took a woman.”
“He took her?”
“Yeah, he took her. I wasn’t
looking out for him, despite what you might think. I was looking for a way to
get out of there. There was a huge rave in the back, people everywhere. Drugged
out, drunk, whatever, you name it. I was going to find another way out when I
saw her. You should have seen her face, Ryan. She was scared for her life. He
brought her back in the alley to do whatever he does to women. Rape. Murder. I don’t know what he
does. Whatever people like him do,” I said, feeling the heat explode from my
body. Ryan was working me up now, making me explain myself and my actions, but
I didn’t kill the cowboy even though I had wanted to. I deserved a medal, but
Ryan didn’t realize that.
“People like him?” Ryan asked, his voice barely audible.
“Yeah, assholes like him. He was
American, by the way. He almost knocked me out, but I stabbed his foot and his
calf. That’s when she got away - the woman he had. She ran off. Then I kicked
him the groin, and I left without slicing through his throat like he deserved.
I looked for the girl, the woman in the red shoes, but I couldn’t find her,” I
finished.
“And who all saw you?” Ryan asked.
“The cowboy and the girl,” I said.
The woman was gone in a second, but she had seen me. She had seen my face. I
looked out the window as the sea came into view on my right. We were nearing Ballstad , our home. I inhaled the sea air, wondering how long it would be before I smelled it
again, if ever.
“You think she’ll tell? Go to the
police?”
“I don’t know, Ryan. Your guess is
as good as mine.”
“You know I love you, right?” he
whispered.
“Yeah, I know,” I replied, resting
my head against the window, knowing that my next words were going to wreck us
both, but I said them anyway because I meant them despite what I was going to
do. “I love you, too.”
4
Delaney's second email from June
16
V,
I hope you got my first email.
I know, I know, use sparingly.
Sister Josephine received a
note this morning that she hasn’t brought to the police. She said you would
know how to handle the situation. I told her I would contact you (she told me I
shouldn’t ever lie to anyone, let alone a nun, again), but I also urged her to
contact the police. She didn’t like that response.
It was a handwritten note, left
in the confessional at St. Mary’s.
“Tread carefully, Sister
Josephine.
Psalm 116:15 :
Precious
in the sight of the
LORD is the death of his saints.”
Whatever it is that’s been
started, I don’t want any part of it. I can’t do this again. I told Sister
Josephine that I would give you a day to get back to me. I guess as a courtesy
to her and to you. If you don’t respond within twenty-four hours, I’m going to
the police. Sanchez can surely handle it, I hope.
I do miss you. Please consider
coming back.
Much love,
D
5
June