How I Got Here by Hannah Harvey Read Free Book Online Page B

into the house, so I had just sat there letting the flakes drift down, and brush against my uncovered arms like the wings of butterflies.
    It wasn’t even until I had gotten into the house that I realized how cold I was. I should have put my jacket on, but the entire time I was out there, it had been lying next to me on the snow covered porch.
    ‘What are you doing here?’ Wade picked up his cup of coffee, and I could see him thinking, I could see it all written on his face, that he knew what had happened with mom, and that he knew this had something to do with it.
    ‘I need your help, I just feel so completely lost at the moment, and I don’t have anyone else that I can turn to.’ I remember clutching the coffee cup so hard that it started to hurt, the words I was speaking were hard for me to get out, they were hard for me to admit, because it’s always hard to admit you need help.
    ‘What about mom and dad? I know that mom messed up, but you didn’t exactly handle things well wither, maybe the two of you should attempt to work things out.’
    ‘I’m sixteen, I’m not meant to have judgment as good as mom, I’m not meant to handle things well. I know what I did was stupid, but I was angry and upset, it was an impulsive move, what mom did was premeditated.’
    ‘Please can you not start rationalizing, ok?’
    ‘Fine,’ I’d stared at my coffee for a while before speaking again, ‘Mom doesn’t want to talk to me right now, she’s angry and so am I.’ I shrug my shoulders and hope he’ll drop this soon.
    ‘Why can’t you talk to dad about all this?’ He persists.
    ‘Because you know what he’s like, he doesn’t like to admit that there is anything wrong!’ I said growing more and more frustrated.
    ‘And is there? Is there anything wrong?’
    ‘I feel like everything is wrong at the moment.’ I admit shakily, I could hear Wade sigh as he set his coffee cup down.
    ‘You only feel like that because you’re angry with mom, but River, skipping school, withdrawing from your friends and peers, that is not going to help your situation, it’ll make you feel worse if anything, besides the way you have been acting recently, it’s very self-destructive.’
    ‘I didn’t come here for a therapy session, Becky is the therapist not you!’
    ‘Then why did you come here?’
    ‘Because I need you r help Wade, I can’t talk to mom and dad doesn’t listen to anything I’ve got to say, as for my friends and peers, it isn’t me that’s withdrawing from them, they all hate me!’
    ‘You’re being dramatic; I wish you would calm down a bit.’ He rolls his eyes, I had my phone in my pocket like usual, I could have pulled it out and shown him the countless emails, all filled with hate and bullying, but I wanted him to believe me, I didn’t want to have to show him proof, he should have trusted me, I wanted him to trust me and not treat me like I was overreacting.
    ‘I’m not Wade! Honestly the kids at school, even my friends have all turned against me, they keep saying all these horrible things, telling me that I’m far and ugly, or stupid and spiteful.’
    ‘That’s just how teenagers are sometimes, especially teenage girls, it’s nothing personal.’
    ‘It sure feels personal when I’m surrounded by a group of girls, poking me in the stomach, grabbing at me and telling me how big I am.’
    ‘Then do something about it!’ He sounds tired by this point, he’s already done with having this conversation, I could tell by the look on his face.
    ‘That’s why I’m here; I don’t know what to do.’ I beg with him to understand, and I think that he is starting to get it. He’s going to help me do something about the bullying; he’s going to help me find a way to deal with it, to end it.
    ‘Why don’t you take up and exercise class? Or a dance class?’ He suggests, and honestly I can tell you this right now, I felt like I had been punched in the stomach, can you imagine what it felt like? I