How the Dead Live (Factory 3) by Derek Raymond Read Free Book Online Page B

‘Get it, the pair of you, and snap it up.’
    They trooped out and were gone for a while. When they did come back the one called Ben said: ‘Sorry, Sarge, but I’m afraid it got trodden on on the way in.’
    ‘Well that’s that then, isn’t it?’ I said. ‘I like it better than an outright confession.’
    The desk sergeant said: ‘What are you going to do about it?’
    ‘Nothing,’ I said. ‘But you take bloody good care that none of you ever do a thing like that again. Now get both these artists out of here, there must be something for them to do other than warming their arses on a yellow line.’
    ‘OK,’ said the sergeant, ‘there’s the report of a fight come in over at 10, Wakefield Road, so get out there the two of you and create some peace, now move.’
    At the door the driver turned to me and said: ‘You’re a right bastard, you are.’
    ‘I prefer me to you,’ I said.
    ‘Christ, you must be fun to work with, that must be really amusing.’
    ‘It wouldn’t be if anyone did, sonny,’ I said, ‘however nobody does, and looking you two over I like it better that way. Now do what your boss tells you, jump on your bike, remember you’re a public servant the same as everyone else in here and don’t take the piss, otherwise it’ll be your head next, now get out of here.’
    When they had gone the desk sergeant said: ‘All right, now what are you down in Thornhill for?’
    ‘Isn’t it obvious?’ I said. ‘What do you think?’
    ‘The Mardy business?’
    ‘Well of course it’s the Mardy business,’ I said. ‘A few syrup of figs have started to get on back to front over this. What I want to do right away is see Inspector Kedward.’
    ‘Well you can’t,’ said the desk sergeant, ‘he isn’t here.’
    ‘Why not?’ I said. ‘Is it his night off or somethmg?’
    ‘I’m spelling him.’
    ‘Get him on the phone, can’t you?’
    ‘I’ve instructions not to, unless it’s really urgent.’
    I said: ‘Listen. You can take it from me that if overworked detectives from A14 get sent down from the smoke to a little rattrap like this, it’s for something the brass thinks is urgent.’
    ‘Inspector Kedward didn’t consider the Mardys urgent.’
    ‘I know,’ I said, ‘but your Chief Constable does, and that’s all that need concern muddleheads like you and me.’
    ‘Why don’t you get on to him then?’
    ‘Don’t be stupid,’ I said, ‘and don’t take the piss. Now get your inspector on the phone.’
    ‘I wouldn’t know where to reach him, not at this time of night.’
    ‘You mean he hasn’t got a home to go to?’
    When the sergeant gazed down at his desk without speaking I said: ‘What you mean is, at this time of night he’s seldom there. OK then, is he married?’
    ‘Of course.’
    I didn’t myself see why of course but I said: ‘All right, well then get Mrs Kedward on the line for me then, else leave a message, or do I have to do it myself?’
    ‘Doesn’t matter which of us does it,’ he said, ‘you won’t reach her, she won’t be at home either.’
    ‘Hardly seems much point in having a detective-inspector here at all quite frankly,’ I said, ‘does there, if he’s never on the job.’
    ‘He’s here in the daytime.’
    ‘Yes but the trouble is,’ I said, ‘that a good many things that should interest detective-inspectors happen at night.’ I planted my elbows on the desk and put my nose up close to his. I said: ‘Now listen, are you telling me the truth, or are you covering up for your inspector?’
    ‘I tell you I’m standing in for him,’ he said neutrally. ‘Nobody said you was coming, otherwise doubtless he’d have waited here to see you.’
    ‘Nobody said I was coming,’ I said, ‘because I didn’t say so myself, I like it better that way. I find detective work depends on being sudden at times and that’s me, do you see? Sudden.’
    ‘Very impressive,’ he said. ‘I’m flabbergasted by it.’
    ‘I don’t think you quite