How to Lose Your Virginity ...And How Not To by Shawn Wickens Read Free Book Online Page A

and I peeled off. I was still freaking out about the orgasm. AIDS was still mysterious and scary to me and I didn’t know if stuff coming out meant something was wrong. I didn’t know. So I went home and I couldn’t tell my dad so I called the only person I knew I could talk to about this: my mom’s brother, Uncle Lenny.
Uncle Lenny is totally super cool. I’m 34 and he’s 75 now and he still gets all the chicks. Really laid back and he’s kind of connected to the Detroit underground. I knew he was the guy who could give me some insight into what went down. I told him the situation and said, "I don’t know what happened. This like pus stuff came out of my penis." He was like, "You never jacked off before?" I said, "No." He was like, "Get into the tub. Draw a hot bath. Burp the worm for a few minutes and tell me if that stuff comes out again."
I followed his instructions, got in the tub, jacked off; it felt good and I was like, "Oh, awesome." For some reason it all made sense to me.

REACHING FOR NIRVANA
Emil, 36

Back in high school, in North Austin, sex wasn’t the first thing on my mind but I always wondered when it would happen. At the time I was more concerned with making a lot of money and a friend of mine and I created a business… well… manufacturing ecstasy. He actually got in trouble for it. I, by chance, missed out on any repercussions.
This was back right when ecstasy first started to get big. That was my thing in high school. I would go to a party, hang out. I always had girlfriends but I never slept with anybody, and the first girl I ever wanted to really sleep with, we talked about it, she was uncomfortable with it and I was like, "OK. Not a problem." As I started straightening out, stopped selling and trying to turn a new leaf, I became a Buddhist and my best friend at that time, Owen, his mother was Buddhist. That's how I was exposed to it, through her. We had talked about how the biggest things you could do that are wrong were stealing and lying. I never stole anything, I never lied about anything. I sold drugs, I did a lot of things that were really fucked up according to societal views but according to her she's like, "There's nothing wrong with that." We would chant together, we'd smoke pot, get high, hang out. She told me, "Anything that you chant for, you'll be able to get." And this woman was the most incredibly beautiful woman I had ever met before. She was married, she was my best friend's mother, not to mention my family's next door neighbor. My parents didn't really talk to their family because my parents were hardcore fucking Episcopalians - different worlds. But I would go over to that house all the time and I'd chant and... and all I ever wanted... I wanted to be with her. Was her husband going to have a problem with it? I didn’t know. That wasn't an issue as far as stealing or lying. He was a vice president for a pretty major international financial conglomerate, so he was never home.
Months had gone by since I started chanting and there were other girls that I had been with, made out with. I went down on girls, girls went down on me and you know, according to whatever you think sex is. Had I had sex? Not really. Every single time the possibility of sex came up, you know, they were hesitant. It's like OK, not a problem. I wasn't out to hurt somebody. If they didn't feel comfortable with sex then that's cool. We'll drink and hang out, we'll have fun, we'll take some X. We don't have to have sex, we can do other things. Kissing and touching was great but at the same time, these were young girls. Loretta on the other hand was a woman and incredibly beautiful. And every day she’s all I'd ever fucking chant for.
Then one day, I'm at the house and her son Owen and our other friend Jay were like, "We're gonna go out and do some military maneuvers and sleep out in the woods." They were hardcore into playing D&D but they also liked to go out and do weird covert operations and fuckin’