really wasn’t looking forward to it. Emma was probably really angry that Samara had hung up on her, but Samara didn’t care. She wasn’t going to let Emma walk all over her when she had bigger things to deal with right now, things that she didn’t even fully understand herself.
As she was getting ready to start walk ing to school, Samara glanced into her brother’s open bedroom door. Seth was still sleeping, which meant that he probably wasn’t going to school today. Samara wanted to open the door and tell him that if he kept missing days of school, there was no way he was going to graduate this year, but she k new that would just make him angry at her again . She wanted to tell her mom, too, but Mrs. McKinley obviously didn’t want t o face Seth’s problems head on or she would have h im see a counselor to help him cope with his anger problems.
When Samara got to school, she didn’t head to her locker right away like she normally did. Instead, she ventured into the school’s cafeteria. She normally didn’t eat breakfast at school, though there were a few times she’d bought from the bagel cart when Emma thought it was the “cool” thing to do. Today , though , the aroma of the cafeteria filled her nostrils and she knew that she h ad to have breakfast .
As she stood in the cafeteria line, Samara noticed the mess of bro wn hair in front of her.
“Josh, hi!” Samara said. “I haven’t seen you in awhile.”
“Hi, Sam,” Josh replied, looking up at her. She noticed that his eyes were bloodshot, as though he had been crying.
“Is everything okay?” Samara asked. She felt tempted to ask him about Lilly, but it seemed like a really bad idea. Samara and Josh had known each other for a long time and she knew a lot about him, but they weren’t that close lately . She wasn’t even sure if she could conside r him an acquaintance right now. Samara still hadn’t hung out with Kyle lately, so she hadn’t really had the opportunity to see Josh except fo r around school and at parties.
Josh shrugged and looked around nervously . Samara immediately understood why. She could feel everyone’s eyes on him, judging him. They were probably whispering about how he was involved with Samara while his girlfriend was missing at the moment . “I guess . . . I’m just waiting for a cop to walk through this do or any moment now and arrest me, ” Josh replied.
“Why?” Samara gasped , deciding to pretend that she hadn’t alre ady heard that it could happen.
“I’m sure that you’ve heard about what happened to Lilly,” Josh replied. “Well, not that anyone really knows what happ ened yet . . . just that she’s gone.”
“Oh, yeah,” Samara replied, a sympathetic tone in her voice. “ So, you think you’re going to get arrest ed? Did you do anything?” she asked , trying to get him to open up about it. Samara knew that he wasn’t guilty. If he were to break down and admit right now that he was responsib le for whatever happened, she would be really surprised.
Josh lo oked up at her and glared . “Of course I didn’t do it. She was my girlfriend. I love her. It pisses me off . . . it pisses me off that people would even think that I could do something l ike – like that to her,” he stuttered , his voice cracking . “I say I love her because I know she’s still alive . . . somewhere.”
“Well, what happened that night? Did Lilly say anything that might help the police figure out whe re she could be?” Samara asked.
“No, she didn’t say anything weird. We just spent the night together, and I dropped her off at her house. I waited until she went inside before I pulled out of the driveway. Whatever happened, it must have been later that night,” Josh replied .
Samara followed him, grabbing a tray for herself. “I wonder what hap pened.”
“You’re telling me,” Josh muttered, grabbing his tray of food from the lunch lady and placing it in front of the cashier to pay . “Thanks for