I Don't Dance (Freebirds Book 6) by Lani Lynn Vale Read Free Book Online Page B

before I caved, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him in close before I burst into tears.
    “I’ve missed you so much,” I whispered fiercely.
    Tears rolled down my cheeks, and I couldn’t do anything but cry harder when his own breath hitched at my admission. “I’m sorry, B. I don’t know how to get out. I just keep replaying it in my head. I was the one who suggested we all leave.”
    “And do you think he’d want you to do this? It’s Christmas Eve. We don’t even have a tree. Did you know that?” I sniffled.
    He looked crestfallen when he realized I was telling the truth. Even going as far as to look at his watch to confirm the date. “Shit.”
    I nodded. “I love you, E. Come back to me.”
    I left him there to contemplate what happened. Lucky for me I could see the front of our place, so it wasn’t a far walk to our house. I strode inside and closed the door to our empty place, wishing he’d get his act together.
    The silence was deafening as I made my way through the house.
    I laid down on the bed and cried my heart out. For us. For this little baby that was coming into this cruel world. For Dougie. For Dougie’s daughter that’d probably never remember her father.
    I cried so long that I fell asleep, never hearing when Elliott came in.

***
    Elliott
    I fucked up. I thought, berating myself for being so stupid.
    While I was busy wallowing in a state of pity over what I could’ve and should’ve done differently, my wife was busy holding us together by the skin of her teeth. I hadn’t realized it’d gotten that bad. That I’d gotten that bad.
    I went to work, and stayed there for nearly the whole day, not even coming home for dinner.
    Blaine would set a plate in the microwave which I’d warm and eat, staying away from her until it was so late at night that I didn’t bother her when or if I finally went to bed.
    It was the times that I’d needed comfort that I’d take from Blaine’s body.
    She gave it to me willingly, and I hadn’t realized I was doing anything bad until an hour ago when she’d told me I was ‘fucking’ her. I never ‘fucked’ Blaine. I made love to her. Even if it was rough, it still wasn’t ‘fucking.’
    Walking into the house, carrying the scrawniest looking tree that they’d had left at the Christmas tree lot, I prayed it’d be enough.
    I’d picked up the Christmas things from the storage garage, surprised that she hadn’t asked me to do it much earlier in the season like she usually did.
    Blaine loved Christmas, even going as far as to decorate in the beginning of November if I’d let her.
    That had to be what astonished me the most, seeing that it was the 24 th , and not one single piece of Christmas had been put out.
    She hadn’t even worn her Christmas sweaters.
    No pumpkin pie candles. No apple cider boiling on the stove. No string popcorn. Not a single Christmas carol had graced that beautiful mouth.
    For the next thirty minutes, I worked on setting out Christmas decor ations. Hanging our stockings and Steeler’s, even though it went against the grain to hang a dog’s stocking, but whatever made Blaine happy.
    I lit the Christmas Yankee Candle, sprayed the windows with the fake snow that I bought, and even set up the train around the tree.
    The only thing left was to decorate the tree, and that we would do together, because that was what she’d always talked about being our tradition.
    Once everything was set up and ready, I walked into the bedroom, then to the bathroom when I couldn’t find her there.
    She was standing in front of the mirror, naked.
    A slight pudge at her belly spoke of the life I’d had a part in planting there. It wasn’t much. Actually, it was only the minutest amount, but I knew my wife. Knew every inch of her skin. Every scar. Every ridge. Every mole.
    God, how had I not noticed this?
    She looked beautiful. Like fucking perfection.
    “You’re everything I ever dreamed of,” I said to her softly.
    Her head