I Have a Bad Feeling About This by Jeff Strand Read Free Book Online Page A

jumped him. That could wait until they’d known each other more than a few minutes.
    Life was awesome.
    As he got a quadruple coin match on a triple space, which earned him big points, a text message popped up on the screen from somebody named Lydia. Bobby sez he misses your hot bod! Come home or he’s mine LOL!
    Well…crap.
    WILDERNESS SURVIVAL TIP!
    Always bring a first aid kit that contains bandages, antiseptic, and a surgeon’s operating table.

Chapter Eight
    Somebody knocked.
    Larry Dexter’s stomach immediately cramped up. Knocks weren’t a good thing. He was never happy to see the person on the other side of the door.
    He wanted to go hide in the bathroom and pretend that he wasn’t home, but the TV was on, so they knew he was here. This would go a lot worse if they had to break in. He set his bowl of soggy cereal on the coffee table, brushed off his shirt and pants, ran a hand through his hair, and took a deep breath. Maybe it was just somebody selling something. He walked over and opened the door.
    It wasn’t Girl Scouts.
    â€œMr. Grand!” he said. “Good to see you, buddy!”
    There were two other men with Mr. Grand. Larry recognized them but didn’t know their names. Mr. Grand’s associates tended not to introduce themselves.
    â€œAre you going to invite us in?” asked Mr. Grand.
    â€œOh, yes, yes, of course. Come on in.”
    The three men entered Larry’s apartment. The last one in closed the door behind him.
    â€œIt reeks in here,” said Mr. Grand with a mild grimace. “Don’t you have any respect for yourself? What kind of a man would live in filth like this?”
    Larry shrugged. “Maid’s day off,” he said.
    Mr. Grand did not smile. Mr. Grand was not a man who appreciated humor.
    Larry cleared his throat and gestured to the couch. “Please…have a seat.”
    â€œThank you, but we won’t be sitting on your plague-infested sofa.”
    â€œCan I get you a drink?”
    â€œNor will we be drinking anything that was in this disease hole. We may even make you pay for the clothes we’ll have to burn after we leave here. Are you going to turn down the TV or do I have to put a bullet in it?”
    Larry gave him a nervous chuckle. “I’ll go you one better.” After a moment of searching, he found the remote and turned the TV off completely. “That okay?”
    â€œIt’s fine.”
    â€œGood, good. So to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?”
    Mr. Grand was a big guy and he looked even bigger when he was angry. “Are you telling me that you’re going to make me suffer through this stench and insult my intelligence?”
    â€œNo, not at all. The money, right?”
    â€œYes, Lester. The money.”
    Larry despised being called Lester but wasn’t about to correct him. He was sweating like crazy and really wished he’d put on deodorant this week. “Yeah, about that—”
    â€œIf you say you don’t have the money, you are going to die tonight. It’s as simple as that.”
    â€œNo, that’s not what I was saying at all. Nothing like that.”
    â€œThen go get it.”
    â€œIt’s not here . I mean, my place is a dump—I’m man enough to admit that. I wouldn’t hide a bunch of cash here.”
    â€œThen take us to it,” said Mr. Grand. “We have nowhere else to be tonight.”
    â€œRight. Thing is…my cash is tied up in investments. You know me. I’m a businessman. You’ve gotta make your money work for you. You understand, right?”
    Mr. Grand sighed. “You’re going to make us break your legs, aren’t you?”
    â€œNo! You can’t believe how much money I’ve got coming in. Soon. Real soon. I’ve got this thing, this survival camp for teenagers. They’re crazy for it. Hundreds of kids are there. They’re turning them away by the dozens. We