I Hear Them Cry by Shiho Kishimoto Read Free Book Online

me out to the city.
    “Where are we going?” I asked.
    “That’s a surprise,” he said, flooring the gas pedal on the Renault. Although I had a lot on my mind, in front of Shigeki I tried to be my regular self. Harboring such a dark secret, I found myself falling for Shigeki all the more, as if he were my one and only safety zone, a place where I could escape to and seek refuge. Most of the time that safety zone turned out to be my apartment. Work followed Shigeki, so he really didn’t have that much time to take it easy, and our dates that took place under sunny skies didn’t usually turn out the way we wanted them to. The sex went by without much talking, but it was filled with insatiable lust; it helped me forget the fear lurking in the depths of my mind.
    Shigeki parked in front of a classy jeweler. For him, lavishing a woman with expensive gifts came as easily as brushing his teeth in the morning. I always insisted that I didn’t want any of that because I wanted to establish a clear distinction betweenthe women of his past and me. To put it simply, it was the only card I could play to draw his attention.
    “Okay, okay. I get it. You don’t want anything, right?” he would say.
    “Yes, except you,” I would counter. “As long as you’re around, I’ll be fine. I like seeing you happy, that’s all.”
    And then he would desire me and whisper,
    Mayu, Mayu, Mayu.
    But that day Shigeki ignored my resistance and simply marched into the shop. I didn’t get out of the car. A few minutes later he came back out and scowled, positively scandalized, “Come on, let’s go.”
    I remained silent. For me, accepting a gift from him was tantamount to losing my uniqueness in his eyes; I would just become incorporated into the galaxy of women he had known. So I stayed firm in my resolve and refused to step out of the car. Dazed, he went back in, his palms up. A few minutes later he came out again and said, “You’re incredible, you know, a woman who won’t enter a jewelry shop. What do you know? Never in my life have I met someone so bullheaded as you.”
    He was enjoying himself when he said that, cracking up some. But that moment turned out to be the beginning of my days in hell.
    After returning to the apartment, he put his arms around me and whispered, “Come home with me, back to Japan. You and me together—what do you say?”
    I froze, looking at him the same way Anna had when she had looked back from the door to size me up. We were both stray dogs—worn down from the scars of a shattered heart—wanting to believe in somebody for the first time.
    Don’t abandon me.
    Shigeki fished out a small box from his pocket. I slowly edged back, shrinking away from him. Probably believing that I was just being my usual stubborn self, he went on to untie the silver ribbon. In the box was a ring featuring a large, coolly twinkling diamond solitaire.
    “Marry me, Mayu.”
    His voice was brimming with confidence, as if he were absolutely sure I would break out into a rapturous dance. I really wanted to do exactly that. I had been leading him on all along after all. I loved him. But I could not in good conscience run away and leave Anna alone—not until I made sure she was all right. So my answer to him was no. But I couldn’t say it. Instead I simply looked down to avoid his eyes. He sensed then that the person who wasn’t picking up the ring wasn’t the usual bullheaded one.
    “Why?” he said.
    There was a tight lump in his throat, and his voice hinted at anger and wounded pride. He kept pressing me for an answer, edging closer and closer. But if I explained it all, I knew something terrible could happen to Anna, or to Simone and to Pierre, so I couldn’t possibly say anything. I couldn’t involve anyone. It was out of the question.
    “I’m heading home to Japan tomorrow,” Shigeki said. “I simply can’t stay in France any longer. I’ve got work waiting for me.” Then he issued the ultimatum. “If you