this'll work."
"I had a feeling you'd pick this one. There are some fresh clothes in the closet; Emma gave me some guidance on that."
"Thanks," I said. I could have sworn that my brain was telling my feet to walk forward, to go into the room and shut the door. But I just kept standing in the doorway, inches from Daniel, hyper-aware of the sound of his breathing.
"You really do look stunning in that dress," he said. "I wasn't just saying that."
I swallowed before I spoke. "That's not what you said before."
"It's not?"
"No, you just said 'stunning dress.'"
"Well, I meant you look stunning. The dress just complements it."
My eyes drifted to the floor, instinctively. Accepting complements gracefully was not among my talents. "That's very nice of you to say," I muttered.
"Look at me," he said, his voice soft and persuasive.
I did. He looked as if he were struggling to say something, or perhaps struggling not to say it.
"Hey," I said. "I'm really tired. We can talk tomorrow, okay?"
"Yes," he said, finally. "Of course. I'm sorry. Good night, Maddy."
He withdrew abruptly, and was gone in a moment. I shut myself in my room and flopped over onto the bed, trying not to let myself think too hard about what had just happened between us. For the first time, I was sure I'd seen Daniel's façade crack. I was sure he had some genuine attraction for me, beyond what he was required to display for the sake of our "relationship."
Then again, maybe he'd just been swept up in the seductive atmosphere of the evening. Hell, maybe he'd had a sex dream about me .
I sat up, biting my lip. It had been a joke in my own head, but the idea of weighing so heavily in this thoughts that he couldn't even escape me in his dreams…a powerful man rendered helpless, writhing between the sheets, wanting me, needing me…
No, no, no . I had to keep my head screwed on straight. These weren't harmless fantasies; not when I was going to be living with his man and pretending to be his wife. I was going to lose sight of what we were really doing. I was going to fall for him if I wasn't careful.
There it was. That was the first time I'd really admitted it to myself, in as many words. Was I really that pathetic, to fall in love with a man simply because he was creating a believable facsimile of wooing me? Admittedly, he was good at it. The dress, the restaurant, the way he'd looked at me, like I was the only thing in the world he'd ever wanted. It was enough to turn anyone's head around.
I was pretty sure I remembered reading somewhere - or maybe learning in a class - about how a large percentage of humans' affection for each other is purely related to proximity.
"Well, I'm fucked," I said out loud to the empty room.
Chapter Five
I wasn't sure if it was the sunlight or the noises from the kitchen that woke me up. I dragged myself out of bed and down the hallway to the bathroom with some difficulty; I'd finally been able to drift off to sleep after hours of staring at the ceiling in the dark, but I definitely hadn't gotten any decent rest.
After a quick shower, I felt slightly more human. I wrapped up in a thick, fluffy robe and padded down the hallway towards the kitchen. Daniel turned around when he heard one of the stools at the elegant breakfast bar scraping along the floor.
He was wearing jeans and a tee shirt that said something about a corporate fun run in 2008. So he did know how to dress like a normal person. That was encouraging.
I just wished the sight of it didn't make my mouth water.
Well, maybe I was just hungry.
"Good morning," he said, smiling at me. His eyes flicked up and down a few times, as if he hadn't expected me to come to breakfast in a bathrobe. But what the hell - we were going to be married soon, right?
"Hi," I said. His hair was falling loose over his forehead, and I couldn't stop staring at it, wanting to push it back into its proper place. "I like your…shirt."
I'd almost said pants.
Debby Herbenick, Vanessa Schick