I So Don't Do Mysteries by Barrie Summy Read Free Book Online Page A

their voices so
faint I can’t decipher what they’re saying.
    I’m not feeling so normal inside. I’m feeling queasy, like I rode the
jerky, spinning Scrambler ride one too many times. I just broke a huge Academy rule. And what if Junie
doesn’t believe me? Now what’s going to happen to me and my mother?
    Suddenly I can hear voices. It’s Dad and The Ruler, standing at the bottom of
the staircase.
    â€œI’ll check on her,” The Ruler says.
    No, no, no. Leave me alone, evil straight-spined woman.
    â€œAre you sure, Paula?” my dad asks. “You know how prickly
she can be.”
    Moi?
Prickly?
    â€œI’m sure.” The bottom stair creaks. “I want to see how
her rash is doing.”
    Yeah, yeah. She wants to laugh at my freakish skin. Unlike my naive dad, I’m
not taken in by her phony-baloney niceness act.
    â€œAnd I haven’t given her the bridesmaid gift yet,” she says.
    A gift?
Oooooh.
Things are looking up. I scoot back to my room, hop on the
bed and open my book.
    At my door, The Ruler smiles. “It’s upside down.”
    I scowl and drop the book on the carpet.
    She looks around, nodding. It’s the first time she’s been in here and,
therefore, the first time she’s been exposed to its dazzling decor. “Very
innovative.”
    I can’t help but agree. At Home Depot, I whipped up a special batch of paint
for the walls and created a gorgeous, rich color I call “turquoise + sea green.” Then I
tossed in a few handfuls of glitter. The stunning result is shimmering, sparkling walls. Miracle of all
miracles, I found the perfect bedspread, with waves of blues and greens, onto which I sewed
different-shaped sequins. Next I glued colored glass that looks like gemstones around the door frame
and across the windowsills. It’s like living in a pirate’s treasure chest.
    Sadly, though, I’ve been unable to locate turquoise + sea-green gravel for my
aquarium. I am hugely into my fish, all named after fairy-tale characters, and always coordinate their
space with mine. We’re happiest when our environments match and mesh.
    The Ruler sets a wrapped box on the dresser and walks toward me with a tube of
ointment. “Let’s take a peek.”
    I tip my head back so that she can see my neck where the rash is the worst. Her fingers
feel cool on my hot skin. This is the most relaxed I’ve felt all day. Weird.
    â€œGood. It’s going down.” The Ruler hands me the ointment.
“This is stronger than the one I brought up before. Don’t use it on your
face.”
    â€œHow will I look tomorrow?”
    â€œGood enough to get on a plane.”
    I let out a sigh of relief.
    â€œHave you ever had this kind of reaction to stress before?”
    â€œStress? No, no, no. I’m allergic to the bridesmaid dress.”
    â€œI don’t think it was the dress,” she says.
    Well, I am überly stressed. What with my mom, the Academy, the wedding. I
mean, who wouldn’t be stressed to the max?
    The Ruler goes into the bathroom.
    Yikes. I hope she doesn’t spot my bridesmaid dress in the trash.
    She returns with a science Dixie cup and a pink pill. No mention of the dress. She gives
me the cup and pill. “More Benadryl.”
    While I’m swallowing the pill, she says, “I think it’s time you
started calling me Paula.” With a small grin, she adds, “Of course, you can still refer to
me as The Ruler at school.”
    She walks to the dresser for the gift. “Let’s trade.”
    â€œYou’re not getting much of a deal,” I say, crumpling the cup as
I hand it to her.
    â€œOh, I think I am.”
    I sense there’s a hidden message in her words but am not getting sucked into an
“I’m looking forward to being your stepmother” conversation. I don’t
need a stepmother. I have a mother. A real one. Well, a