I Was Here All Along by Penny Blake Read Free Book Online Page A

brilliant! Way to dominate!” She hugs us both in celebration, and we stiffly accept her affection. 
     
    Drew gives her a rundown of the whole encounter while I allow my heart rate to go back to normal, and before long, we all leave together and head home.
     
    Drew and April walk behind me, hand in hand, and I walk ahead, absently listening to their conversation and enjoying the warm summer night and the pleasant buzz from the alcohol. 
     
    Even after everything, a kind of acceptance washes over me.  I finally feel at peace, or something resembling peace, with everything that happened with Brian.
     
    A firefly blinks ahead of me as a car rumbles past, and I feel a certain rightness in the moment. My life may be far from perfect and confusing as hell, but at the same time, maybe everything is exactly the way it should be. 
     

Chapter 12
     
    Pretty
     
    I postpone my final semester at community college to figure out what I really want to do career-wise.  Now that my life plan with Brian has fallen to pieces, I’m not sure about anything anymore, except that I should probably figure it out before taking out any more student loans for classes that might not even be useful to me.  In the meantime, I get a temp job doing data entry at home and commit to losing weight.
     
    After our moment of extreme weirdness at Crossroads, things with Drew and I go right back to normal.  He’s training for a half marathon, so April pushed us to start running together in the mornings, which explains the first part of my exercise montage.
     
    Cue the Rocky theme song.  The one with the trumpet that goes:
     
    Dun da-da dun da-da dun da-da dun
    Dun dun da-da dun da-da dun da-da dun
    Dun dun dun dun dun
    Da-da dun
    Da-da dun
     
    Now cut to Drew and I red faced and sweating as we run through the park.  Okay, so I’m red faced and sweating and he looks as gorgeous as ever.  But you have to appreciate my dedication, especially when my nostrils twitch and I look to the side where along the trail, a mustached man in a pink t-shirt stands beside an ice cream cart.  He holds an ice cream cone out to me and nods with a broad smile, but I shake my head and press on.
     
    Next cut to me at the gym doing a set of bicep curls while Rio stands behind me, clapping his hands and pushing me on.  Then to Rio counting animatedly while I finish a set crunches, then ball up in pain and clutch my stomach.  Then to me gulping down water while Rio bends over to pick up his clipboard, leading me to rub the cold bottle on my neck while staring at his butt and nodding in approval.
     
    Now cut to me at the grocery store filling my basket with baby carrots, salad mix, blueberries, yogurt and salmon. But the record scratches when I come to a stop in front of an Entenmann’s display. 
     
    I begin to reach for a package of eclairs and everything goes into slow motion.  I shout “Nooooo,” and just before I make contact with the eclairs, I swing my hand away at the last possible second.  Then I shake my head and blink my eyes, slowly coming to my senses, and rush to the dairy section to load my basket with yogurt.
     
    And that’s how the next few months pass. 
     
    As I settle into my new lifestyle, I realize how much Brian enabled my old bad habits.  Brian was blessed with an insatiable appetite and a ridiculously high metabolism, and since I spent most of my time with him, I seemed to believe I could eat the same way.
     
    When he ordered an extra large, extra cheese pizza, I helped him finish it.  When he sat in his family’s rec room watching TV after school and absently inhaling chips, hot pockets, raw cookie dough, and anything else in the fridge, I inhaled right along with him.  And when his mom pressed us to take a second helping of dinner, followed by a massive homemade dessert, I never refused. 
     
    But now that he’s out of the picture and my sister doesn’t keep unhealthy stuff in the house, I find myself eating much better.