If I Could Do It Again by Ashley Stoyanoff Read Free Book Online Page B

sounds upbeat today, happy even.
    Not what I expected. Not at all.
    I hesitate. “I’m fine. How are you?”
    I’m a mess really, but I’m not about to admit it.
    “I don’t believe you,” he says. “You’re a shitty liar, baby girl. You’re still mad about yesterday, aren’t you?”
    Despite myself, I smile at that. I can’t believe how well this man knows me.
    “You yelled at me,” I say quietly. “Then you hung up on me and I thought I wasn’t going to hear from you again. So, yeah, Joshua, I’m a little mad.”
    “You didn’t answer your phone,” he says simply. “You need to learn.”
    I snort out a laugh. “Are you kidding me right now? I’m not always going to be around to answer the phone for you.”
    “You should be,” he says, a tinge of irritation seeping into his voice. “I waited in line for hours yesterday. People watched me wait in line and call you over and over, and you didn’t pick up your fucking phone. It’s fucking embarrassing. You wasted my time. You made me look like an idiot.”
    I blink. I don’t even know what to say to that.
Embarrassed.
He yelled at me because he was embarrassed. Really?
    “You always pick up every time I call,” he continues, “and when you didn’t, I got extremely worried about you. I didn’t know if something happened to you or if you and Richard got into a fight. I’ve lost a lot of people while I’ve been locked up and I was afraid I’d lost you, too. I caught feelings for you, baby girl, and I thought something happened to you and there was nothing I could do about it. I was fucking worried, and when you finally picked up, you were being a bitch about it. I’ve showed you the sweet loving side to me because I felt like you deserved it. It’s a side that not too many people get to see, but I’m not going to let some bitch speak to me like you did yesterday.”
    “Really, you’re calling me a bitch now?”
    “You were being a bitch yesterday.”
    “I’m sorry,” I mutter. And I am. The truth is, I’ve been sorry since I realized I forgot my phone.
    Joshua laughs, all seriousness gone from his tone. “Say it again, this time try to make it believable.”
    “I’m not sure I can do that yet,” I say teasingly, laughter in my voice. “Give me an hour or two, okay?”
    My response makes him laugh again, this time a full, loud laugh. It’s an amazing sound, packed full of raw energy and when he speaks again, his voice is deeper than normal. “Is your pussy wet, baby?”
    I blink and let out an awkward laugh, surprised by the question. Some of our calls and letters have touched on sexual stuff, but he’s never been this blunt before. What is he doing here?
    “No,” I say after a moment, though my voice doesn’t come out nearly as confident as I would have liked. The truth is, as soon as he asked, I could feel the dampness gather between my legs.
    He hums. “Again with the lying. I hope this doesn’t become a habit.” He pauses for a beat, and when I say nothing, he continues. “Stick your hand in your panties and tell me.”
    “No,” I repeat, this time a little firmer. “Joshua, I can’t do this with you.” And I can’t. Even if Richard wasn’t home, playing with that stupid boat right across the hallway from my office, engaging in phone sex just isn’t right.
    I’m still married.
    I still live with my husband—kind of.
    It’s just … not right, even if Richard knows it’s over between us.
    Joshua chuckles. “Yes you can. I know you want to be my little slut. Be a good girl and reach into those panties. I want you to tell me how wet your pussy is.”
    I swallow hard, feeling heat coil through my body. Shit, I want to. I really, really want to, but again I say, “I can’t. We can’t. Richard’s home and …”
    He doesn’t listen to me. Actually, he right out ignores me, cutting me off. “You know what I’m picturing? I’m picturing you in nothing but a garter belt and thigh high sheer stockings.