If I Should Die Before I Wake by Lurlene McDaniel Read Free Book Online Page B

sagged in her seat. “Nevertheless,” he said, “we
never
give up. We bombard the cancer with everything we’ve got. It’s like a war. The cancer’s the invader, and we’re there to throw it out.”
    “I wish you had a sure cure . . . ,” she began.
    “So do I, Deanne. Every day I pray for a cure. But, while I’m waiting, I go on fighting.”
    The room grew silent. Deanne could hear the ticking of the clock on his bookshelves. “Something tells me you have a particular cancer case in mind,” Dr. Vandervoort said into the silence.
    She dropped her eyes. “Oh, not really. It’s just that I’ve been doing a lot of work on the oncology floor, and I feel so sorry for some of the kids.”
    “Don’t let pity cloud your ability to serve,” he told her.
    “I don’t understand.”
    “You’re there to do a job, to help any way you can. Listen to your patients’ needs and help them. Don’t feel sorry for them. You’re not doing them any favors, believe me.”
    Deanne wasn’t quite sure what her father meant, but she was glad she talked to him. At least she now had some hope for Matt, hope that he really might get well.

    * * * * *
    “Deanne! Come quick! Pam Miller’s locked herself in her bathroom and Mrs. Stewart can’t get her to come out!” Susan’s excited voice preceded her into the hospital room where Deanne was making up a bed.
    “Oh, no!” Deanne cried and raced down the hall behind her friend. Together they burst into room 409, Pam’s room.
    “Pam! Pam Miller! You open this door right now!” Nurse Stewart said as she pounded on the hard door surface.
    “What’s going on?” Deanne asked.
    “Pam woke up this morning and huge wads of her hair were laying on her pillow.”
    “Oh, no,” Deanne said.
    “Yes, it’s the chemotherapy. She knew it might happen. But I guess it’s hard when you’re only fifteen and your hair is your crowning glory. Pam!” she called through the door again. “Please open up!”
    “No!” Pam shouted back. “Go away! I’m never coming out! I swear!”
    “Can I try?” Deanne asked nervously. “I’ve worked with her a lot. We’ve kind of gotten to be friends.”
    “Sure,” Mrs. Stewart said. Then she added, “Quick, Susan, go down to maintenance and get someone to bring up some tools. We may have to take the door off the hinges.”
    Deanne went over to the door and called, “Pam? Pam? It’s me, Deanne. What’s going on?”
    “Go away!” Pam shouted back. “I’m never coming out! I tell you, NEVER !”
    “Well, why not?” Deanne asked, trying hard to think of a way to get Pam to open the door.
    “Because I’m BALD !” Pam wailed. “I—I look hideous!”
    “But, Pam, you can’t stay in there. What about all the stuff we planned to do this afternoon?”
    “I can’t do anything! Paul is supposed to come today. I can’t let him see me like this!” Pam started to cry.
    Paul! Of course!
Deanne thought. Paul was her boyfriend.
    “Oh, Pam, Paul won’t care. I know he won’t. Why you, Paul, Matt, and I have even talked about it. You know he likes you just the way you are.”
    “That’s easy for you to say,” Pam sobbed. “He’s never seen me bald. Besides, you have lots of beautiful blond hair!”
    Deanne gave a start. She never once thought of her hair as beautiful. It was so limp and baby fine. But it must seem glorious to someone who is going bald. “You know it will grow back,” Deanne tried again. “Matt’s fell out and it grew back, even nicer than before, he says. Now, please unlock the door.”
    “Go away!” Pam shouted
    Deanne searched her thoughts for an idea. Pam was a nice girl, very outgoing and with a good sense of humor. Deanne remembered that she often talked about becoming an actress. Pam had been in many school plays and loved the theatre.
    “You know,” Deanne began. “If you never come out, I won’t be able to use you in the special play Mrs. Coffman asked me to help her with.”
    There was silence.