IF I WERE YOUR WOMAN by LaConnie Taylor-Jones Read Free Book Online Page A

know how it is, a brother thinks he’s macho and will never get sick. Then when something goes down, he hopes against hope that the mind is playing tricks on him when all the while, the body is giving the tattle-tell warnings that somethin’ ain’t right.” He shook his head and chuckled. “It’s funny how a man will let every woman in the world who’s willing feel up on him, but when it comes to doing self-examinations, he gets shaky. Know what I’m saying?” 
    “Listen, T. J.” Ray leaned forward with his hands clasped between his legs. “I need you to keep this conversation between us on the DL—”  
    “You see this?” T. J. pointed to his tabbed collar. “As an ordained minister, I hold whatever you or anyone else tells me in the strictest of confidence.”
    “ Merci .”
    “I know where you’re at right now because I’ve been there. And trust me, I’m not gonna hit the door and put your business in the streets. You have my word. Besides, my frat brothers would kill me.” He chuckled. “Ain’t ready to go see my Maker … just yet.” 
    “When I first met you, you were a straight-up player, man.”
    T. J. nodded in agreement. “Got a Ph.D. in it. And before the cancer, added a couple of post doctorates to the field of study, too.”
    “B-but you came full circle.”
    “Brother, I had to. It’s like I tell folks I counsel who say, ‘but pastor you don’t understand.’ Oh, yes I do. I come out the gate telling tell ‘em that I bring ‘em greetings from the whore house to the church house. If I can change, anybody ought to be able to get their stuff straight.”
    “Man, what slowed your roll?”
    “Ray, when a life-altering situation knocks at your door, it’ll make you re-examine a lot of stuff you’re doing. Mine just so happened to be cancer. If you don’t remember nothin’ else I tell you, remember this. You can’t hide from the disease. You’ve got to make up in your mind you’re gonna fight it with everything you’ve got.” T. J.’s voice mellowed. “Cancer was the wake-up call I needed. It changed my life for the better.”
    “H-how did you get through it?”
    “Three things,” T. J. explained and bent his fingers back as he named them. “God, my family, and a good woman. Those three got me through some dark moments.” He paused. “You got a lady?”
    Ray smiled sadly and stared off into the distance. Oh, he had one, but when she tried to reach out to help him, he panicked and bolted. In the last two weeks, the only person he’d thought about was Laney.  
    T. J. cleared his throat lightly to get Ray’s attention.  “I’m not sure if your silence is a yes or no, but let me tell you this. If there’s someone special in your life, don’t shut her out. Trust me my brother, there will be days that you’ll need a strong woman to catch your back.”
    “What about … you know … sex?”
    T. J. bobbed his head. “A aah, wondered when that topic would hit the discussion circuit. It wasn’t until I was diagnosed with cancer that I finally understood the difference between making love and having sex.”
    Confused, Ray shook his head. “I’m not following you.”
    “Men think sex.” T. J. tapped the side of his head. “We got it on the brain. I discovered there were other ways to please a woman besides the physical act itself.”
    “And she was satisfied?”
    “ Who? ” T. J. grinned. “She called my name. But guess what? Satisfaction is what you make of it. Don’t get caught up in the physical side of things. There’s more to a relationship than sex.”
    “When did you meet your lady?”
    “Hmmm … about a year before I was diagnosed. Man, talk about pretty. Brother, she blew me away. She was different than the other women I’d messed around with, and I didn’t want to rush things. Then, bam,” T. J. exclaimed, slapping both hands together. “Head off to the doctor because the pain was unbearable and three days later, learn I’ve got