If I'd Never Known Your Love by Georgia Bockoven Read Free Book Online Page B

important to get paid than take credit."
    She squeezed her eyes closed to block the inevitable tears and tried to concentrate on the fact that at last they had what they'd been waiting for— contact. "Now what?"
    "We begin the negotiating process."
    "How far will they come down?"
    "I have no idea," he admitted.
    "We can't pay ten million," she repeated. "That kind of cash outlay would cripple the company." Pain radiated through her like a sprung roll of barbed wire.

    "I'm going to tell you something you already know but might need reminding. Every time you get frustrated with the process think about this."
    She nodded, even knowing he couldn't see her.
    "Negotiation is like creating a statue out of a block of marble. It's imperative to understand the stone before you strike a blow. Once something is removed, it can't be replaced. If we make a misstep with these people, we can't go back and start over."
    "What do you want me to do?"
    "As soon as we give them an answer, I want you to go home and see your kids and not return for a couple of weeks. There's no way we're going to hear from them again sooner than that."
    "When will we answer them?"
    "We're still working on that."
    For the first time she felt an unbearable sense of hopelessness. She desperately wished she hadn't talked her father into leaving again. "I understand."
    "I know you do," he said softly. "And I know that understanding doesn't make it any easier. Just keep telling yourself that this is a good thing. We've finally heard from them."
    Four Months Missing
    For seventeen years I'd lived in a cocoon, sheltered by parents who loved me and believed without question that I was special, and a brother and sister who didn't just tolerate me but actually liked me. At least most of the time.
    Which meant I wasn't prepared when you told me the truth about yourself and broke my heart. I had no point of reference to understand that kind of pain. I knew without hesitation that my mother would lay down her life for her children. I couldn't conceive her being so self-absorbed that one of us would die as a result of her carelessness. It was impossible to imagine her turning to heroin to ease her pain or that she could pass out and leave something so dangerous within the reach of a four-year-old.
    When your mother killed herself out of guilt, she couldn't have understood what it would do to you, how finding her sitting in a bathtub full of blood would be the way you would remember her forever, and how starkly alone you would be without her and your brother. But then, maybe she thought she was doing you a favor, and that you were better off without her. Maybe it was the only way left for her to tell you that she loved you. All I know for sure is that you wouldn't have moved to Kansas if she hadn't died, and we wouldn't have found each other. When I get angry with her for doing what she did to you and the way she did it, I remind myself of that.
    Did I ever tell you that my father had only known you a couple of months and wanted to adopt you? Somehow he found out your aunt would only let you stay with her as long as the state paid for your keep. I threw a holy fit when I heard him discussing it with my mother. Of course I couldn't just come out and say that I was in love with you, that I put myself to sleep at night planning our wedding, and how awkward it would be to explain to everyone that I was marrying my brother. My mom must have figured it out and clued in my dad, because he never mentioned it again. He did, however, spend a lot of time with us that we could have been spending alone.
    Mrs. Winslow got involved when she discovered you were two years behind where you should have been as a high-school senior. She volunteered to help you catch up, promising to keep your secret as long as you came to her classroom after school every day and made progress. Dad and I pretty much ruined that for you when he made you my chauffeur, leaving you caught between a hunger to learn and a