If Only (The Willowbrook Series Book 1) by Ashlyn Mathews Read Free Book Online Page B

In her rush to ride the track, she’d forgotten to put on her gloves. He cleared his throat.
    She glanced up and gave him her best irritated look. “I have an idea as to the things Jo had said, and what she mentioned to you is correct. But I don’t need you to harp about my craziness, too.”
    He shook his head and let his arms fall to rest at his sides. “Not driving since the accident isn’t crazy. It’s understandable. The experience was traumatic.”
    It was easier to let him rationalize away her pain as a traumatic experience than to make him understand why she punished herself by refusing to get behind the wheel of a car. Taking the chicken-shit way out, she shrugged and changed the subject.
    “You wanna know what she said about you?” she said.
    “No, but I’m sure you’ll tell me anyway, since you’re in such a sharing mood.”
    Ugh, she hated when he dropped sarcasm on her, even in small doses. Needing her space, she walked over to stand by the dirt bike.
    “Jo said you were busy training—running, riding, working out, but apparently no dating”
    “And?” he asked.
    “And, what?”
    “What did you think of the no dating thing?”
    Was she supposed to laugh or cry that he cared enough to ask? In a way, it was good he didn’t have a steady girlfriend, but she wanted to cry because she understood why.
    Racing was Rhys’s life. No girlfriend, no distractions. For a competitive guy like him, she figured it was all about the next win, the best sponsorship, and the biggest endorsements.
    And he rode and competed for a noble reason—to make his dead mother proud. Grandma Jo had told her so. But what about the living? Sighing, she mentally scolded herself for being selfish. How could she ask the man she loved to abandon his dreams and identity for her?
    “I figured it’s your business whether you dated or not,” she finally said. “And you? Anyone serious?”
    “One guy.”
    “Oh.”
    She didn’t tell him he was the one. Or that she’d had a crush on him since her first day of school when he found her lost in the halls and guided her to her first period class. Afterward, she thought she wouldn’t see him again, but when the bell rang at the end of Science, Asa found him waiting outside the classroom door to take her to the next class then the next until the school day ended.
    From that day on, they hung out here and there though it wasn’t anything consistent. Training and riding the dirt track behind his grandmother’s place had kept him busy while she focused on school and played the role of peacekeeper in her parents’ marriage.
    When she was a junior and Rhys a senior, his grandmother had hired her to tutor him. With his racing, he had gotten behind on his schoolwork. By the end of the school year, Asa realized he wasn’t slow to get the concepts—Rhys was actually very smart. Racing just proved to be too much of a distraction.
    She watched as he threaded his fingers through his hair, her own fingers itching to grasp the dark strands and tug him to her, to clasp the side of his face between her palms and drop kisses on the mouth she could kiss forever.
    “Don’t, Asa.” He hooked his fingers onto the belt loops of his jeans. “You’re giving me that look again, like you want me to love you. But I would only hurt you.”
    “No, you’re wrong. You’ve only hurt me that one night.” Her chest ached, and she had to ask, “Is that why you said I was a mercy fuck? Because you could never fall for a girl like me?” Her voice rose at the memory of overhearing him say that crass comment to another partygoer.
    He pushed himself off of the wall and started to toss tools lying on a worktable into a steel box. “I said those stupid words but not for the reason you think.”
    His back was too her, his shoulders tight balls beneath his t-shirt. Suddenly, he whirled on her, his face a mix of emotions, his eyes bright in intensity.
    “You’ve driven me crazy since the day I met you, Asa.