I'll Have What She's Having: My Adventures in Celebrity Dieting by Rebecca Harrington Read Free Book Online Page B

her lunch consisted only of yellow and red carrots, which she insisted had different flavors. I use that mental image as my guide, waiting until lunch to eat, when I have a big bowl of raw spinach. For dinner, I have sautéed spinach. After dinner, I take a walk. Garbo loved walks and used to walk from her apartment on Fifty-Second Street to Washington Square Park and then back. I meet my friend in the West Village. I am so hungry that I sort of cheat at her apartment and eat some dried fruit and a spoonful of gelato. But what is a spoonful of gelato when you are already in such a deep dark hole?
     
Day 10
    I am off the diet! I lost four pounds officially and look rather ill. (I am pale, and my cheeks are unusually prominent.) But I have a great respect for the grande dame of movie acting. No wonder she “want[ed] to be alone.” She had to bear the pain of such an insane eating regimen without the impertinent attention of the world.
    Several days after the diet has finished and I am eating normally again, I return home to my apartment and smell something awful. It is the heart of darkness/my celery loaf, and it is still in my oven.
    I forgot about it, but the time has come to confront my demon in its celery face. I take it out of the oven; the smell of rotting celery is overpowering and immediately I gag. I put it on the counter. I take a small piece, eat it, and then promptly scoop the whole loaf into a small trash bag. I need a whiskey.

I Tried Victoria Beckham’s Diet
    V ictoria Adams, a.k.a. Posh Spice, a.k.a. Victoria Beckham, is known not only for her nonverbal tenure with the Spice Girls and her eventual ascension to the perch of successful fashion designer but also for her tremendously svelte frame, which has survived several pregnancies unscathed. She once told an interviewer, “I’m not going to lie – I’m not one of those people that says, ‘Oh, I eat hamburgers.’” It is nice that she is honest in a world of liars, although a woman who wrote a 528-page autobiography when she was only twenty-seven probably does not have a problem with honesty. I actually read this autobiography and I loved it! It chronicled the whole story of her life and ended with a whodunit mystery. Even Mark Twain couldn’t do that.
    Even though I am now almost woefully experienced at dieting, I am slightly nervous about trying Victoria’s various diets. Beckham is known for her commitment to dieting. One time, at a restaurant, she ate only arugula, and it didn’t even have any dressing on it. Can mere mortals do what she does to stay skinny?
     
Preparation
    In recent years, Posh has publicized her diets, reportedly following the Five Hands Diet after her daughter, Harper, was born and later tweeting about the Honestly Healthy alkaline diet. I plan to follow all of these regimens, although I do not have Victoria’s stamina, willpower, or ability to just pose while other people are singing.
     
Day 1
    The Five Hands Diet is exactly what it sounds like. You eat only five handfuls of food in a day and then for some unknown reason you declare yourself full. A fun surprise about this diet is that the portion is not even really the size of a hand. It is actually the size of a palm. The five hands (palms) of food have to be protein. Of course, you can have as many vegetables as you want. (But who cares? You can always have that on every diet. It seems a hollow gesture.)
    I start the day off with two eggs. They are small eggs because they have to fit in my palm. It’s not a terrible breakfast, but it is a terrifying breakfast, because I realize how little a palm actually holds. I know I do not have the self-control of Victoria. I didn’t have a fruit plate instead of a cake for my birthday like she did in 2012. (Although one time Victoria’s mom made her a cake in the shape of a fruit plate. There is a picture of it in her autobiography.)
    After my eggs, I go to the gym. Early on in her career, Victoria said she never went to the