I'm Not Her by Janet Gurtler Read Free Book Online Page A

we rush off to class.
    She pushes her long bangs behind her ear. “I tried calling and texting you all weekend but you didn’t get back to me.” I hear hurt in her voice. “What happened?”
    Melissa’s parents finally allowed her to get a cell phone for high school this year, though she has to pay for it with the money she earns helping out her church’s secretary. Her social life is even worse than mine. Church both days on the weekend, Saturday for work, Sunday for services. And she has strict weeknight curfews.
    “Oh, you know. My mom had all sorts of family stuff lined up and another one of her stupid parties on Sunday.” I glance over my shoulder as if someone called my name or I heard something interesting. Avoiding her eyes, I add, “Anyhow, I didn’t have my cell phone charged.”
    That much is true at least. I always forget to charge my phone.
    When I look back at her, Melissa rolls her eyes ever so slightly. “I don’t know why you even bother with a phone. Except you get it for free. Like everything else in life.” She says it lightly and smiles, but I’ve heard it a million times before and barely register it. She’s always teasing me about the things I have. It’s not my fault my family can afford things and my mom loves to spend.
    She pushes away from the lockers and I step forward to get my stuff.
    “So…” she says, her voice soft but excited. “Tell me about the party. Did anything happen? How was it?”
    The party. It seems so distant, like it happened or even mattered a lifetime ago. I grab the books I need for the morning from my backpack and blow out a deep breath of air, wishing I could confide the truth. The party is old news. My sister’s cancer is new.
    I’m torn by my promise to my sister and my friendship with Melissa. We’ve always shared things. Melissa narrows her eyes when I say nothing, a slightly resentful expression on her face. Her parents don’t believe in parties and she’s not allowed to go to any.
    “It was lame,” I finally say to throw her off the scent. I can’t stir up the energy to tell her anything else. It strikes me how much time we spend discussing the lives of others. She’s dying to find out if anything scandalous or exciting happened.
    “I took off early.” I shove my backpack into my locker and stand on my tiptoes to reach my sketchbook off the top shelf. My elbow knocks my blown-up picture of Randy McGovern, a wildlife artist I scanned off the Internet. I automatically straighten it out, taking care not to wrinkle his face.
    “How early?” The way Melissa bobs her head around reminds me of an agitated burrowing owl.
    Blushing, I close my locker door. “Early. I just had to get out, you know?”
    Melissa glances around to make sure we’re still alone. “Kristina must have been pissed off. She really wanted you to make an effort.” She snarls her lip. “To socialize .” She makes it sound like a curse word.
    It’s my cue to make snide remarks about Kristina, or boast about how we’re too intellectually superior to care about stuff like that. Even I know we make fun of my overly gorgeous sister to burn off our own insecurities. I can’t do it though. I can’t play along today, no matter how much I know I should, to keep up appearances. It’s too much work, so instead I shrug.
    “What was she wearing?” Melissa demands, pushing back bangs that refuse to stay behind her ear.
    For a moment I have an image of Kristina’s low-cut tank top with the push-up bra, but it’s replaced by the picture of her distraught face in the car on the way home from Devon’s. Who cares? I lift a shoulder. “I don’t know. I don’t remember.”
    Melissa clucks her tongue on the roof of her mouth, sounding more like an old woman than a high-school freshman. An old woman disappointed in me.
    “Well, were her and her friends all drunk?”
    I shake my head.
    “Was Kristina all over a guy trying to make Devon jealous?” Melissa won’t stop and the