Irma Voth by Miriam Toews Read Free Book Online Page A

was right and the Mennonites who owned the house were getting restless. The crew had set everything up and the Mennonite kids playing the Mennonite kids were in their places and their parents, Alfredo and Marijke, were supposed to talk about stuff while checking out the new tractor with the family. One of the kids didn’t want to be there and Miguel was trying to cajole him in Spanish, which the kid didn’t understand yet, and then to bribe him with chocolate. Eventually Miguel just said okay, go play, and he went out and plucked a different, more pliable blond-haired, blue-eyed kid from the crowd that had gathered around and set him down next to the tractor for the scene.
    Diego asked Alfredo to remove his beer can from the hood of the tractor so it wouldn’t be seen in the shot and then he took me aside and said that this was the scene ofthe family together, pivotal and establishing, and must be perfect. Alfredo will tell Marijke that he has to go to town on some kind of business and Marijke will indicate through her body language that she does not believe him but that she will accept what he is saying for the sake of peace in the home. Alfredo will take a few steps then come back and put his hand on her shoulder and tell her that he loves her. Marijke will tell him that she loves him too. Okay? he said. It’s simple, right?
    I nodded. Yeah, I said. Should I tell her now?
    Yes, Irma, please, said Diego. We’re ready. And can you also tell her to please not look into the camera.
    I went over to Marijke and told her what Diego had said about not looking into the camera.
    And when Alfredo tells you that he loves you, I said, you smile a little sadly and put your hand softly on his hand and tell him quietly that you’re tired of his bullshit. In fact, no, not tired, but very close to being defeated by his bullshit.
    That’s what I tell him? she said.
    Um, yes, I said. Quietly and sadly.
    Okay, she said.
    And remember the camera, I said. Not to look at it.
    On the way home Elias and Sebastian smoked Faros and shared headphones.
    Irma, said Elias. Do you know Neil Young?
    Yeah, I said.
    You do? said Elias.
    No, I said.
    He’s from Canada! said Elias. He handed me his headphones and I put them in my ears and listened. I heard Neil Young singing about a sky about to rain.
    What does that last part mean? said Elias.
    I don’t know, I said. Then I thought about it. I don’t know, I said again.
    It comes out of fucking nowhere but it fits perfectly, said Elias. I don’t know what it means either but it’s fucking brilliant. He took the headphones back and listened to another song. When it was finished he took them off and told us that the song was about this guy, he loses his way, his map, he loses his telescope, he loses his coastline! It’s so great, he loses everything, he loses his words! So he keeps singing but just this la la la la la la la la and it gets more and more joyful and builds into this incredible crescendo, it’s so happy, because he’s finally free and he’s lost but he’s free!
    Marijke slept with her rubber boots up on the dash and Wilson wrote in his notebook.
    Hey Wilson, said Sebastian. What are you writing about?
    Nothing, said Wilson. He closed his notebook and put it on the seat beside him.
    C’mon, you’re writing something, said Sebastian. What is it? A love letter? Is it about us?
    No, said Wilson. Fuck off.
    C’mon, said Sebastian. What are you writing? Tell us.
    I’m writing about how dreams are like art and how both are sort of a conjuring up of the things that we need to survive.
    That’s why I always dream about sex, said Elias.
    Even if it’s an unconscious or subconscious act, said Wilson. Art, of course, is a more wilful act than a dream, but it comes from the same desire to live.
    I once had a dream that I was fucking the world, said Elias. Like, I don’t know how old I was but I was in Montevideo in a house somewhere and I was bored so I wandered around and then I got this