Jacob Two-Two-'s First Spy Case

Jacob Two-Two-'s First Spy Case by Mordecai Richler Read Free Book Online

Book: Jacob Two-Two-'s First Spy Case by Mordecai Richler Read Free Book Online
Authors: Mordecai Richler
business,
amigo
. Monday afternoon we’re going on what is known in our trade as a fishing expedition. But, don’t worry, I’ll have you outside Privilege House in time for your mother to pick you up.”
    â€œWhere to?” asked Jacob Two-Two. “Where to?”
    â€œTime will tell.”
    â€œAnd what’s your plan of action?” asked Jacob Two-Two.
    Mr. Dinglebat frowned. “Remember what I told you about ‘need to know’?”
    â€œIn advance of a dangerous mission,” recited Jacob Two-Two, “a spy is told only what he needs to know, nothing more, so that if he is captured by the enemy, and tortured, he cannot reveal vital information.”
    â€œSee you anon,” said Mr. Dinglebat, leaping up from the bench and starting home, walking backwards.
    After dinner, Jacob Two-Two, a very worried little boy, went out to mow the front lawns. First Mr. Dinglebat’s, true to his promise, and then his own.As the poker players began to arrive, they all greeted him warmly, except, of course, Perfectly Loathsome Leo Louse.
    â€œKeep out of my way tonight, you little cheater,” he said. “You’re bad luck.”
    Perfectly Loathsome Leo was greeted with guffaws at the card table.
    â€œDon’t you want to place another bet with Jacob before we start?” Jacob Two-Two’s father asked him.
    â€œJust deal the cards,” said Perfectly Loathsome Leo Louse, his face burning red.
    â€œI dunno,” said one of the players. “If I were you I’d phone the Clairvoyant before placing any bets.”
    Everybody laughed.
    â€œWell, I can handle my own cards,” said Perfectly Loathsome Leo, and then he saw Jacob Two-Two enter the room.
Brat
, he muttered to himself.
    â€œHey, Jake,” one of the players called out, “pull up a chair. Leo looks like he’s going to need help.”
    â€œOh, yeah?” said Leo. “The truth is I’m going to take you all to the cleaners tonight.”
    But once again Leo, rattled by all the teasing, ended up a loser, dropping seventy-nine hard-earned dollars at the table, and that made him so angry hestormed out of the house without remembering to take home the food left over on the sideboard.
Drat that boy
, he thought, kicking the first lamppost he came to.
Drat him. Drat him. Drat him
.

CHAPTER 14
    xcused from classes on Monday afternoon, Jacob Two-Two hurried over to Mr. Dinglebat’s house, as instructed, and found him on the roof, feeding his carrier pigeons.
    â€œAt this stage in the operation,” said Mr. Dinglebat, “it is advisable to get to know your enemy, taking the measure of the man, catching him unawares, as it were.”
    â€œYes, sir,” said Jacob Two-Two.
    â€œAgent-in-training Two-Two, we are going to pay the dreaded Mr. I.M. Greedyguts a visit in his lair.”
    â€œOh, no,” said Jacob Two-Two. “Oh, no.”
    â€œDon’t worry. He’ll never recognize you.”
    Mr. Dinglebat outfitted Jacob Two-Two with a fedora, dark glasses, a handlebar mustache, a T-shirt, jeans, and scuffed tennis shoes. Then he rubbed a mixture of beer and cigarette ash into their clothes. “It’s the small details,” he said, “that have saved many a boy from being hanged by his thumbs, or from submitting to the Norwegian pickled herring torture.”
    â€œWhat’s that?” asked Jacob Two-Two.
    â€œBetter you don’t know.”
    A half-hour later the dreaded Mr I.M. Greedyguts was confronted by two men, one tall, one very short. Both wore fedoras, T-shirts, jeans, and scuffed tennis shoes. Both reeked of beer and tobacco. The taller of the two had a notebook in hand. The other one, no more than three feet tall, was weighed down with all manner of cameras and camera equipment.
    Recognizing them for what they were, Mr. I.M. Greedyguts barred the door to his office. “I never speak to reporters from the
Daily

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