James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl Read Free Book Online

Earthworm?’ the Centipede asked. ‘What’s the problem?’
    ‘The problem is…’ the Earthworm said, ‘the problem is…well, the problem is that there is no problem!’
    Everyone burst out laughing. ‘Cheer up, Earthworm!’ they said. ‘Come and eat!’ And they all went over to the tunnel entrance and began scooping out great chunks of juicy, golden-coloured peach flesh.
    ‘Oh, marvellous!’ said the Centipede, stuffing it into his mouth.
    ‘
Dee
-licious!’ said the Old-Green-Grasshopper.
    ‘Just fabulous!’ said the Glow-worm.
    ‘Oh my!’ said the Ladybird primly. ‘What a heavenly taste!’ She looked up at James, and she smiled, and James smiled back at her. They sat down on the deck together, both of them chewing away happily. ‘You know, James,’ the Ladybird said, ‘up until this moment, I have never in my lifetasted anything except those tiny little green flies that live on rosebushes. They have a perfectly delightful flavour. But this peach is even better.’
    ‘Isn’t it glorious!’ Miss Spider said, coming over to join them. ‘Personally, I had always thought that a big, juicy, caught-in-the-web bluebottle was the finest dinner in the world – until I tasted
this
.’
    ‘
What
a flavour!’ the Centipede cried. ‘It’s terrific! There’s nothing like it! There never has been! And I should know because I personally have tasted all the finest foods in the world!’ Whereupon, the Centipede, with his mouth full of peach and with juice running down all over his chin, suddenly burst into song:

    ‘
I‘ve eaten many strange and scrumptious dishes in my time
,
    Like jellied gnats and dandyprats and earwigs cooked in slime
,
    And mice with rice – they’re really nice
    When roasted in their prime
.
    (
But don’t forget to sprinkle them with just a pinch of grime
.)
    ‘
I‘ve eaten fresh mudburgers by the greatest cooks there are,
    And scrambled dregs and stinkbugs’ eggs and hornets stewed in tar
,
    And pails of snails and lizards’ tails, And beetles by the jar
.
    (
A beetle is improved by just a splash of vinegar
.)
    ‘
I often eat boiled slobbages They’re grand when served beside
    Minced doodlebugs and curried slugs. And have you ever tried
    Mosquitoes’ toes and wampfish roes Most delicately fried?
    (
The only trouble is they disagree with my inside
.)
    ‘
I‘m mad for crispy wasp-stings on a piece of buttered toast,
    And pickled spines of porcupines. And then a gorgeous roast
    Of dragon’s flesh, well hung, not fresh
–
    It costs a pound at most
.
    (
And comes to you in barrels if you order it by post
.)
    ‘
I crave the tasty tentacles of octopi for tea
    I like hot-dogs
, I LOVE
hot-frogs, and surely you’ll agree
    A plate of soil with engine oil’s
    A super recipe
.
    (
I hardly need to mention that if s practically free
.)
    ‘
For dinner on my birthday shall I tell you what I chose:
    Hot noodles made from poodles on a slice of garden hose
–
    And a rather smelly jelly
    Made of armadillo’s toes
.
    (
The jelly is delicious, but you have to hold your nose
.)
    ‘
Now comes
,’ the Centipede declared, ‘
the burden of my speech:
    These foods are rare beyond compare – some are right out of reach;
    But there’s no doubt I’d go without
    A million plates of each
    For one small mite
,
    One tiny bite
,
    Of this
FANTASTIC PEACH!’
    Everybody was feeling happy now. The sun was shining brightly out of a soft blue sky and the day was calm. The giant peach, with the sunlight glinting on its side, was like a massive golden ball sailing upon a silver sea.

Nineteen
    ‘Look!’ cried the Centipede just as they were finishing their meal. ‘Look at that funny thin black thing gliding through the water over there!’
    They all swung round to look.
    ‘There are two of them,’ said Miss Spider.
    ‘There are
lots
of them!’ said the Ladybird.
    ‘What are they?’ asked the Earthworm, getting worried.
    ‘They must be some kind of fish,’ said the Old-Green-Grasshopper.