Jerusalem the Golden by Margaret Drabble Read Free Book Online Page B

for it was burned black on the outside and raw in the middle, and her mother had told her that it was impossible not to get worms from raw sausage meat, but the taste of the damp mince with its bitter crust remained a strong reminder of illicit pleasure.
    Mrs Hill took a fancy to Clara. Clara, when she became aware of it, was not displeased, because although the other girls laughed, she knew enough of the world to know that no affection, however oddly won or placed, is laughable or negligible. Other teachers and other girls were forever taking fancies to each other, but there was something strangely eccentric about Mrs Hill’s fancy, just as her whole position in the school was eccentric. It was in no way intense, and indeed coming from such a figure it could not help but appear a little maternal; Mrs Hill did not seem to discover anything odd in her own attitude, and would consult Clara’s opinion without any attempts at subterfuge or bravado; she would defer to Clara’s position in the class by outrageously open remarks such as ‘Now, Clara, you’re the only girl likely to remember what I said last week’, or ‘Well, I suppose I’m wasting my breath on all but Clara Maugham’. This frankness was so unprecedented that the girls could not resent it; they could not, in the context of school behaviour, take it seriously enough to resent it. They giggled about it, and Clara giggled too, and that was that. Clara even grew quite fond of Mrs Hill, and proud of herself for feeling fond of one so odd.
    The case of Miss Haines was a different question altogether. Miss Haines too favoured Clara, but being young and honourable she made every effort to conceal it. French was her subject, and she was potentially the classiest teacher in the school. She liked Clara because Clara was bright, and for no other reason: she had no need to like her for any other reason, as she was well equipped with a busy social life and a lover. The girls respected her because she had nerve and a good front of confidence, and because she possessed a very smart line in jerseys and fancy stockings, and wore shoes so fashionable that to the untrained eye they looked positively orthopaedic. Clara was not fully aware of Miss Haines’ interest, because it was hidden by a sharp and brisk demeanour, and by an almost excessive severity, so she worked all the harder in her efforts to impress. It was not until she reached the age of specialization that she realized how well she had succeeded, although she had had her suspicions: but at the age of fifteen, at the moment of choice, the moment from which the Arts stretched away in one direction and the Sciences in another, never to meet again, she realized that Mrs Hill and Miss Haines had actually been fighting over her. The knowledge gave her an inexplicably profound satisfaction. She never for a moment thought of deserting French for Mrs Hill, having encountered amongst other things some nasty problems about the nature of electricity, but she did enjoy the sensation of flirtation: she spent a long time making her mind up, and finally was summoned by the headmistress, who told her she ought to stick to Sciences, because they offered better prospects. Whereupon she came out into the open and said she would choose Arts.
    On the way out of this interview, she came across Miss Haines, clad in a thin ribbed sweater in a very nice shade of mustard, with a very nice matching skirt. And Miss Haines, as Clara suddenly realized, with a curious tremor of conviction, had actually been hanging around in the corridor waiting for her to emerge.
    ‘Hello, Clara,’ said Miss Haines.
    ‘Hello, Miss Haines,’ said Clara, giving nothing.
    ‘I hear that Miss Potts asked to see you about next year’s work,’ said Miss Haines.
    ‘Yes, she did,’ said Clara. There was a slight pause, while she relished to the full her own desirability as a pupil.
    ‘I hope you didn’t change your mind about taking up languages,’ said Miss