jinn 03 - vestige by Liz Schulte Read Free Book Online Page B

nothing I can do to stop it. If I give into the desperation, if I let myself stop at nothing to survive, I can’t be sure that what I’ll have left will be worth having. I don’t want to survive at the expense of everyone else.”
    “Or maybe you’re just chicken shit.”
    She gave me a wry smile, but I could feel how closed off she was to me, despite her honestly shared words. “I’m terrified. What would you be? Pieces of me are dying, memories are fading from my mind, and I can’t do anything.” Her eyes filled with tears. “Do you think I like being helpless in all of this? But I am, Baker is dead because I couldn’t keep the angel at bay. I see the hate within you growing, and it’s because of me. Maybe if I leave now, you won’t give into the darkness inside of you.”
    “Liv—”
    She held up a hand. “You don’t get to call me that anymore.”
    Shame like I never felt before smoldered inside of me at the things I had said to her. But though I didn’t fucking deserve another chance to say the right thing, I was going to take it. She wasn’t going to let herself die because of me or any other bullshit reason she could concoct.
    “I hear what you’re saying and it’s a complete load of crap.” I leaned forward, resting my elbows against my knees. “Femi’s right. I know you weren’t entirely to blame for what happened. . . . ” I searched for the words, the instruments that would lay my soul bare to her once again. “I never let anyone in until I met you. I learned that lesson a long time ago, but with you things changed. With you, I suddenly had things that I never knew I wanted: friends, allies, and someone who loved me better than I ever deserved. So much more than I deserved. I do know that.”
    She kept her eyes downcast.
    “Baker’s death . . .” I shook my head. “It reminded me of how much I had to lose. He chose to sacrifice it. We followed all the clues to the wrong decision, and the angel didn’t make us do that. We did it on our own. That’s the truth. You didn’t kill him. Chances are even if you had been here, not the angel, nothing would be different right now. I should have told you that from the start. It was just so much easier to let you take the blame. Part of me enjoyed it.”
    She stared at her hands, a worried line tugged between her eyebrows.
    “You aren’t responsible for the angel, Liv. That wasn’t what I was talking about. I’ll tell you everything that happened with her if you want, but after that we need to let this go and focus on saving your life.”
    Her head tilted to the side. “There is no we anymore, Holden. There’s you and there’s me. You’ve made damn sure of that.”
    I ignored her comment. We’d save her life then I would spend the rest of mine proving to myself and to her that I could be worthy. “How long have you known you were dying and what can we do to stop it?”
    She crossed her arms over her chest. “Nothing. There’s nothing we can do.”
    Her anger surged, elevating my own. “We always do everything your way. This one final time we are going to do it mine.”
    She looked far from convinced. I was out of favors with her, had pushed her to the limit of her seemingly infinite patience with me.
    “You used Juliet against me.” Her whisper was raw. “You said you wished we had never met. I’m pretty sure I don’t owe you anything.”
    “You’re right. You don’t. But I also know you better than anyone else. And you can’t just walk away or give up the good fight, and this fight is the best. A prince of hell is right here on earth. He will kill everyone in his wake. I can’t defeat him without you, or even with you as you are right now. Everyone is depending on you to be strong and healthy. I’m sure the attack was a test. They needed to know you were weak and now that they do, we have to be ready. Show me your injury.”
    Olivia leaned back in her chair, unbuttoned her shirt, and pulled her collar back. I tried not