couldn’t understand why he had lied to me. He kept asking me on Facebook how everything was. Had I found a decent accommodation for myself? Was my office centre location given to me? And if there would be any further difficulty, he would certainly help me find a better place to stay when he returned. I didn’t bother to reply. I had had enough of shallow people in my world already.
Time never passes fast in such moments and finally I decided, after a long battle with myself, to go outside and explore Delhi. The nearest place that I could go was Connaught Place.
I roamed around Connaught Place and found that it lit up like a new bride. As far as the eye could see, there were people hustling and bustling about and the shops were practically choking with humanity. In the darkness of night light seemed to dance everywhere, from the glittering bangles on girls’ wrists to the shining salwar-suits of aunty-jis, to pillars and posts draped in colourful banners. I tried to ease my restless heart by looking at all of it and then decided to return to the hotel. I asked the hotel boy to get me dinner in my room and decided to stay back in the hotel the next day as well. There was a two-day break for Diwali and the office would be closed. I never thought that the first year I would land a job would bring with it my worst Diwali experience. Plus staying alone somehow chafed at my heart and I couldn’t be at peace. It was indeed painful, but I guess I had no other way than to think of the good times in years gone by and smile to myself.
Five hours of sleep was not at all enough for me. I had too much stuff going on inside my head, with all the sadness of being alone and helpless, and thanks to the people outside the hotel bursting crackers till the wee hours of the morning to the shrill tunes of ‘Sheela ki jawaani’ and ‘Munni badnaam hui’, I couldn’t get back to sleep. I tried stuffing cotton balls into my ears and pressed my pillow against my temple. But has anything ever worked against the tenacity of Dilliwallas? I finally gave up and got out of bed at 5.30 am, shaved, and showered. I looked at myself in the mirror and found myself looking worn out. I looked gloomy and pulling a pretentious smile too didn’t bring about any change. I took the metro and reached office at 9 am. I had checked the way on Google Maps and had roughly calculated the time. It was my first day of reporting and I had expected that the HR head must have returned. But she was nowhere to be found. I tried conversing with a couple of other people but they seem to have no idea where they belonged and if at all they worked in the same office. There was a boy who sat just across from her cubicle. I tried asking him if he knew about the placements or if he knew when the HR head would be coming in. He seemed disinterested, as if I wasn’t even there. He was trying to solve something with a paper and pencil and seemed to be cracking the code for an upcoming war. It was only after I had repeated the same question thrice that he raised his head and looked at me as if suddenly life had burst into this world. He looked at me questioningly. I repeated, ‘Sir, I am here to meet Ms Vatsala. I am a new associate. Could you let me in on when and how I will be able to see her at the earliest?’
He didn’t say anything. I wasn’t sure whether he was paying attention to my words or was lost somewhere, perhaps stuck in his coding. I wasn’t expecting this kind of attitude. I repeated my question again. He just nodded. I couldn’t understand what his nod meant. Was it a yes or a no?
I waited for a few more minutes in the hope that he might come to his senses and respond properly. But hope often disappoints you. And when it comes to me, it always disappoints me. It was just the beginning for me, I believe.
Disappointed, I left the room. I didn’t know where to go and whom to meet. I took out the appointment letter again and checked the location of the office.
Marc Nager, Clint Nelsen, Franck Nouyrigat