Keep From Falling (Markson Grove Series Book 1) by Amy Vanessa Miller Read Free Book Online Page B

lift my face to see what pulled her away from me.
    I’m startled when I see a guy from my calculus class named Evan approach Bree and greet her with way too bright a smile. At first I’m curious, wondering if he has a thing for my girl. But as their awkward greeting continues, and I see how profusely Bree’s face is blushing, and how Evan’s eyes are wandering all over her, I begin to feel uncomfortable.
    Evan seems to notice me noticing them before Bree does because he breaks their connection to speak to me. “Hey Skylar.”
    I look over to Bree who finally seems to remember that she has a girlfriend. She looks at me with guilt in her eyes and that’s when it occurs to me that she actually likes this guy. She’s attracted to him! This realization hits me like a slap in the face and I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me. I take a step back while looking directly at him. His confusion annoys me and makes me want to hit him. Didn’t he see us walk into the school holding hands? What kind of asshole tries to pick up someone’s girl right in front of her?
    “Hey,” I force myself to reply through gritted teeth.
    Finally, Bree seems to snap out of her trance. “Um Sky, this is Evan Daniels. We…we work together.”
    I turn to face her, making sure she sees in my eyes why I’m about to walk away from her. I storm down the hallway and I hear her calling after me questioningly, but I don’t want to talk about this here. I don’t want to talk about it ever. I want to pretend like it never happened and for everything to go back to the way it was five minutes earlier.
    I spot an empty classroom to my left and turn into it abruptly, shutting the door behind me. Then with my back to the door, I slide down to the floor in a state of helplessness.
    Bree likes Evan Daniels. She likes him. She’s attracted to him. My stomach begins to ache and I can feel the knots forming. My eyes start to tear up, but I can’t let them trickle out or it will make my eyeliner run down everywhere. I lift my face to the ceiling, willing the tears to go away. This can’t be happening. How do I stop this?
    “I can’t stop this,” I say out loud, and I know as I’m saying it that it’s the truth. If Bree likes him and he likes her, there is no amount of bellyaching that will ever be able to make that go away.
    I feel myself begin to fall into the darkness. My breathing speeds up rapidly and I know that it’s happening again. I rummage through my bag trying to find something sharp, anything that can penetrate my skin. I need a release. I need to break my skin open and remove this toxic pain from my body.
    I find my geometry kit and shakily take out the compass. Tears are dripping down my cheeks now, but the pain inside is too much for me to care. The only way to stop this scorching ache in my veins is to release it. I pull my right sleeve up passed my elbow, and with my left hand I dig the pointy end of the compass deep into the flesh of my forearm. I drag the metal across my skin forcefully, watching as the flesh parts and my blood begins to seep out of it. I take in a gasp of breath and then the calmness finally takes me over. My breathing slows, the tightness in my chest begins to fade, and I feel some semblance of control once again.
    I hurriedly pull my sleeve down and shove the compass back into my bag. The adrenaline that is now coursing through my body makes my arms shake as I push myself up off the ground. I take in a few more deep and calming breaths before opening the door of the classroom and re-entering into the hallway full of people; back into the calm of everyday life.
    I’m not going to class today, not after that. I can’t, I’m a mess. Everything about me is a mess. My entire life has been nothing but one big, gigantic mess that I’ve hidden away from nearly everyone I’ve ever cared about. Even Bree doesn’t really know me, I don’t know if she could handle it if she did.
     

     
    Not too many people