Keep No Secrets by Julie Compton Read Free Book Online Page B

over to his nightstand and grabs a tissue, holds it out for her. They were on his side of the bed because he was the last one to have a cold. Claire, it seems, never gets sick. "The mother doesn't have time to be sick," she always says.
    She takes the tissue.
    He's not sure what to do. He hears the question in her head— "What did you talk about?" —but he's not sure whether to answer, since she hasn't asked it. But she said she wouldn't, didn't she? She said she wouldn't ask any questions. And he does trust her . Implicitly.
    He decides to keep talking until she tells him to stop.
    "She said someone's threatening her, that she needed my help."
    Claire whips her head around. Her eyes are narrowed. She's so angry that he leans back slightly. He hasn't been slapped, but he might as well have been.
    "God!" She's yelling, but it's under the breath so she doesn't wake the boys. Even in her anger, even in her apparent disappointment in him, she thinks of the kids. "Have you learned nothing?"
    "Yes," he says quickly. He jumps ahead so she understands he has . He really has.
    "I didn't agree to help her. I told her I'd think about it." Another grunt. "Claire, I told her that because I wasn't about to do anything without telling you, without talking to you first." She's quiet, so he adds, "That's why I'm telling you all this, don't you understand?"
    He rises and slips into the boxers he left on the floor earlier when he undressed. He moves to sit beside her.
    Surprisingly, she lets him take her hand.
    "Don't you understand?"
    She looks him straight in the eye.

    "Don't you understand? Why didn't you tell her to go to hell the minute she pounced on you?" He finds himself thinking: how interesting, Claire's choice of word, because "pounce" is almost exactly what Jenny did last night. It's the perfect description. "Why didn't you tell her to go fuck herself ?"
    "Because—"
    "Don't even answer, Jack! I already know the answer, okay?"
    "What do you mean?"
    "She's like a drug to you. I know that. I get that. I thought you got it, too. I thought you understood that the only way you'd stay clean was to stay away from her."
    He looks away, shaking his head.
    "You know how I know for sure?" she asks.
    He turns to her, waiting for the
    indictment.
    "Because otherwise, you wouldn't be telling me this now, after you'd already met with her. You could have told me last night, when you got home. But you didn't, because you were afraid then you wouldn't be able to see her again."
    She sounds like a lawyer. She hasn't sounded like one in a long, long time. She was a good lawyer. She hated practicing, but she was good. She was smart, is smart, and she also has a psychological grasp of people that gave her an edge. But now he feels as if she's badgering the witness. He feels as if he came as close to telling Jenny to go to hell as was possible.
    "Look." He doesn't want to argue. He tries to remember the point of all this, of the decision to tell her. He wanted to do the right thing. He didn't want to give her any reason not to trust him. "I should have said something last night. I shouldn't have waited until after I met with her today. But you're wrong about her being a . . ." He can't even say the word drug .
    "It's over."
    Claire stares into her lap. All the fight has left her. She wants to believe him.
    He drops to one knee in front of her, almost as if he's about to propose again.
    "Claire?" She raises her eyes. "I swear to you, it's over . It has been for a very long time. I wouldn't be telling you all this if it wasn't."
    She nods slowly, and the tears let loose.
    He doesn't question if they're crocodile tears, as he did when Jenny cried. He knows they're not.
    "Okay, okay," she whispers through quiet sobs. "Okay, Jack."
    He takes her in his arms. He holds tight, eyes closed. He questions his judgment. He tries to think of what he might have done differently. What he could have done to prevent her pain.
    Because he promised himself he'd never