Kleinzeit by Russell Hoban Read Free Book Online Page B

bread with butter. Orange jelly. He stopped looking, stopped smelling, ate a little. It may not be health, he thought, but it’s national.
    Faces. Two rows of them in beds. He smiled at some, nodded at others. Comrades in infirmity.
    ‘What’s new, Schwarzgang?’ he said. Blips going all right, he noticed.
    ‘Be new?’ said Schwarzgang.
    ‘I don’t know. Nothing, I guess. Everything.’
    ‘D’you go?’ said Schwarzgang.
    ‘Here and there in the Underground. Coffee shop.’
    ‘Lovely,’ said Schwarzgang. ‘Coffee shops.’
    Kleinzeit lay back on his bed thinking about Sister’s knee. Brown velvet sky again. An aeroplane. You’re missing what’s going on down here, he said to the plane. He extended his thoughts downward from Sister’s knee, then upward from her toes. He fell asleep, woke up when Sister came on duty. They smiled big smiles at each other.
    ‘Hello,’ she said.
    ‘Hello,’ said Kleinzeit. They smiled again, nodded. Sister continued on her round. Kleinzeit felt cheerful, hummed the tune he had played on the glockenspiel in the bathroom. It didn’t sound original, but he didn’t know whose it was if it wasn’t his. C#, C, C#, F, C#, G# …
    THRILL, sang his body as intersecting flashes illuminated its inner darkness. C to D,
E
to F, with two hyperbolas. LUCKY YOU.
    That’s it, thought Kleinzeit. My asymptotes. His throat and his anus closed up as if two drawstrings had been pulled. He drank some orange squash, could scarcely swallow it. Another aeroplane. So high! Gone.
    MINE! sang Hospital, like Scarpia reaching for Tosca.
    Aaahh! sighed the bed.
    SEE ME, roared Hospital, SEE ME GREAT AND HIGH UPON MY BLACK HORSE, GIGANTIC. I AM THE KING OF PAIN. LOOK ON MY WORKS, YE MIGHTY, AND DESPAIR.
    That’s Ozymandias, said Kleinzeit.
    You mind your mouth, said Hospital.
    Asymptotes hyperbolic, sang Kleinzeit’s body to the tune of
Venite adoremus.
    Tomorrow’s the Shackleton-Planck, he thought. Will there be quanta? Three guesses. And if the 2-Nup clears up my diapason they’ll probably find that my stretto is blocked. It feels blocked right now. And of course the hypotenuse is definitely skewed, he didn’t even bother to be tactful about that. What time is it? Past midnight all of a sudden. Half of us are dying. The groans, chokes, gasps and gurgles around him seemed repetitive, like the Battle of Trafalgar soundtrack at Madame Tussaud’s. Cannon booming, falling spars, shouts and curses. The orlop deck of the
Victory
every night, with oxygen masks and bedpans.
    Blip, blip, went Schwarzgang, and stopped.
    Sister! yelled Kleinzeit in a hoarse whisper. Darkness, dimness all around. Silence. Cannon booming, spars falling, bedpans splatting, shouts and curses, chokes and gurgles.
    Kleinzeit checked the monitor, saw that it was plugged in. ‘It’s the pump,’ said Sister. The pump was humming but not going. The back of it was hot. Kleinzeit slid off the back plate, found a wheel, a broken belt. He turned the wheel by hand. Blip, blip, blip, blip, went Schwarzgang.
    ‘Pull out the plug,’ said Kleinzeit, ‘before something burns out.’
    Sister pulled out the plug. One of the nurses rang up for a new belt. Kleinzeit turned the wheel. Blip, blip, blip, blip, went Schwarzgang a little faster than before. He had just awakened.
    ‘Tea already?’ said Schwarzgang.
    ‘Not yet,’ said Kleinzeit. ‘Get some sleep.’
    ‘Doing?’ said Schwarzgang.
    ‘Nurse spilled something on your pump,’ said Kleinzeit. ‘Wiping it up.’
    Schwarzgang sighed. The blips slowed down again.
    ‘They’re looking for the key to the spare parts locker,’ said Sister. ‘Shouldn’t be long.’
    Schwarzgang was choking. ‘The drip thing stopped,’ said Kleinzeit. Sister jiggled the tube, took off a clogged fitting, held two tubes together, bound them with tape, sent a nurse for a new fitting. Schwarzgang stopped choking. The blips picked up again. The wheel grew harder to turn, the burbling of the filter