La Vida Vampire by Nancy Haddock Read Free Book Online Page A

now.”
    “Are you serious?” She sat up straighter on the couch. “Your mother didn’t tell you about sex?”
    I rolled my eyes. “I’m two hundred and twenty-seven years old. What my mother told me is beyond archaic.”
    “What brought this up tonight?”
    I stood and paced to the Regency four-poster bed. “Besides having some really hot dreams lately, tonight Janie offered to fix me up. I told her no way, but the truth is—”
    I stopped, faced Maggie, and spat it out fast. “The truth is, I want to know what it’s like to be with a man, but good guys don’t want to date vampires, and I can’t exactly go down to the marina, flip out condoms like an accordion wallet of family photos, and say, ‘Hey, sailor, wanna have a good time?’”
    Maggie held it for a second, then laughed so hard she sounded asthmatic.
    “You’re right,” she said, panting to get her breath. “That’s not the best approach. I take it you turned down Janie’s fix up offer?”
    “In spades.” I paced back to the desk. “I think I should hire an escort. Would it cost extra for deflowering?”
    “You could ask for a price list. Standard sex, deflowering sex, debauchery, orgies.”
    “No orgies,” I said. “It’s way too expensive to hire the cast of thousands.”
    She shook her head in mock disgust. “For a wealthy vampire princess, you can be a real tightwad.”
    “True, but seeing as how we’re talking about my virginity, let’s not call me tight. Let’s call me frugal.”
    “Whatever, hiring an escort to initiate you is not a good idea. Too cold -blooded, if you’ll forgive the expression.” She tapped her chin. “I shouldn’t suggest this, but why not enthrall some nice guy and have your way with him?”
    “I tried that about two weeks ago, but I stink at enthralling. I couldn’t keep a straight face.”
    “You laughed at him?”
    I waved a dismissive hand. “No biggie. He was telling a joke and never suspected a thing.”
    “Honey, believe me, if you’re horny enough, you won’t laugh. You’ll be chewing nails to get it on.”
    “Great, I’m horny, but not horny enough.”
    “You really want my advice?”
    “When even Mick knows I’m a virgin, I need your advice.”
    “Fine. Wait for the right guy to come along. Someone you want to be with, someone you can trust.”
    “Trust not to stake me, you mean?”
    She shrugged. “That and trust to care about you. Not the novelty of dating a vampire. You. ”
    “I might chew every nail in Home Depot by then.”
    “Oh, I don’t know.” She pushed off the fainting couch and started for the door. “Now that you’ve been honest about what you want and said it out loud, synchronicity can work like—” She snapped her fingers. “—magic.”
    She shot me a dazzling smile as she sailed out, but I don’t think she heard the eerie rrryyyow echo from the plaza. Or saw the whiskered feline face floating outside my window.

    FOUR

    From the front porch of his shanty cabin in a perfect circle of trees, Cosmil sat in a willow wood rocker keeping watch for the panther.
    A passerby would perceive an old gentleman in dark trousers, a loose tunic, and house slippers, but there were no passersby. In addition to the night’s fog, the dense woods and faeries saw to his privacy, never mind the concealing spell and wards he’d reset just today.
    Only the faintest snap of a twig preceded the panther before she emerged from the live oaks and cabbage palms snarled in grapevines and kudzu. Her trotting gait looked lazy, but energy hummed around her.
    “Pandora,” Cosmil greeted as the big cat leapt the bowed steps to the rickety porch. The vampire princess sensed the magick. She thought of Triton.
    Cosmil clearly read the cat’s thoughts and smiled. “Excellent. Francesca will trust that sense, and by extension, you. When Triton comes…”
    Cosmil did not finish the thought aloud. The spoken word was even more powerful than thought, and its energy more easily