Leap of Faith by Jamie Blair Read Free Book Online Page B

probably hungry.
    He shrugs. “Around five or six. She need to eat?”
    “Yeah. Guess I better go so I can feed her.” I take a step toward the door.
    “Here.” He comes forward, reaching his arms out. “I’ll hold her. Go on out and get her a bottle. You have one with you, don’t you?”
    I nod, watching him take Addy out of my arms, place her against his chest, and rub her back. “Do you have kids?” It seems like a dumb question, but he’s a natural with Addy.
    He laughs. “No. Fortunately, I’ve never been in that predicament.” He looks from Addy to me, and his face falls. “I mean . . .”
    Right. He thinks I got knocked up. I’m a teen mom. “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.” I smile, trying to put him at ease. “I’ll be right back.”
    After opening the door to the stairs, I glance over my shoulder. He’s running his fingers over the top of her head and bouncing her gently. “Shh, baby, don’t cry. Mommy will be right back.”
    Running down the stairs, I ponder the likelihood of something inside me actually melting, because I’m certain something has. Something I didn’t even know was frozen.
    I dash outside, grab the diaper bag off of the passenger seat, and run back into the house. Upstairs, Chris is standing in front of one of the dormer windows, talking to Addy as he rocks back and forth. “That’s an oak tree. Squirrels love that tree. They hide acorns in it.”
    He hears me at the door, and he turns. “There she is,” he tells Addy.
    I blink about a thousand times, trying to take in the image in front of me, overwhelmed with so many emotions. The sun streams in behind him, catching strands of his hair, reminding me of how Hope looked sitting in Brian’s car on our way to school. Addy’s comfortable and content in his arms—like she belongs there.
    We belong here.
    “What’s wrong?” he asks.
    I shake my head. “Nothing. Thanks for holding her. I just need to mix it up.” I point to the counter.
    “Sure. Take your time. We’re fine.” He turns back to the window, and I can’t stop staring.
    For the first time since I took Addy away, it feels like I did the right thing. And I’m not just telling myself that. It’s true. I can give her this life. The life she deserves.
    Some of the powdered formula falls over the sides of the bottle as I pour it in. I swipe it into the sink with my hand. Addy starts to fuss again as I’m pouring the water into her bottle. I screw on the nipple and shake the bottle up as I walk toward her and Chris.
    “Need to warm it up?” His eyes meet mine. I see myself in them. Not just my reflection. He’s giving me everything I desperately need. And I’m giving him something too. But I have no idea what. I just know that I can see it in his eyes, the yearning to keep me there with him, to keep us with him.
    “Um . . .” I hadn’t thought to warm it this time. I’m a terrible mom.
    “Trade ya.” He smiles and takes the bottle, handing Addy over into my arms. “I’ll hurry.”
    I lower onto the couch, hugging Addy to me, nuzzling my nose against her neck. There’s a smell there I’m not familiar with. It’s male. It’s dizzying. It’s Chris.
    A microwave beeps downstairs, and a second later his feet are padding up the steps. He rushes through the door, and I feel my lips automatically turn up into a smile.
    His hair’s down now, framing his face. The rubber band grips his wrist. He hands me the bottle and sits beside me. “I tested it.”
    Addy starts sucking. Chris gives her his finger to clutch. She moves her eyes around, searching, for him I think. Then she scarfs the formula down.
    We don’t speak.
    We just watch her eat.
    When she’s done, Chris takes the bottle from me and goes over to the sink to rinse it out.
    Before I even have her over my shoulder to burp her, she pukes all over my shirt. Chris turns around and cracks up at seeing me all wet and gross. “Well, that just sucks.” He laughs some more. “Hang