Leaping Beauty: And Other Animal Fairy Tales by Gregory Maguire, Chris L. Demarest Read Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Gregory Maguire, Chris L. Demarest
gorilla queen tied the strings in a double trouble sailor-boy knot and sealed it with glue and sealing wax and a small bit of quick-drying cement she carried in her purse, so the knot wouldn’t come undone. Then she vaulted away, cackling like a witch.
When the giraffes came home, they saw So What by the front door. He was nearly gray with lack of air.
The seven giraffes had strong teeth from all that lettuce nibbling. Besides, Pumpkin and Goldskin were excellent trapeze artists and, daily, hung from a rope by their teeth at the highest point of the big top. So all seven of them set to work on the waistband.
Finally they had nibbled it through, and the waistband relaxed. So What breathed in such a big breath that all the furniture inside the house came rushing from the suction and got stuck in a clot in the doorway.
When he could speak again, he said, “Aren’t these the best shorts you ever saw?”
“They need a new waistband,” said Nimble. “Where did you get them, So What?”
“From a pretty sorry-looking Dizzy Dame of the Forest,” said So What, but he bowed his head in shame when they told him he had almost been murdered once more.
“You misbehaved again,” said Orangelight. “Do you know how we would feel if we lost you, dear boy?”
“So what,” he muttered, but really he felt terrible. “I wouldn’t be doing this if you’d let me come to the circus with you!” he cried. “I’m sick of all the housework!”
“No, the wicked gorilla queen might see you there,” said the giraffes. “It’s too risky. You must stay home and you must stay inside until you grow even stronger and better able to take care of yourself. You’re a good strong chimp, but are you any match for a gorilla? We think not.
Behave yourself, now.”
The next morning the gorilla queen said to her mirror,
“Mirror mirror on the wall,
Who’s the strongest one of all?
You’re lying if you name that chimp.
Compared to me, he’s a wilting wimp.”
The mirror said,
“Why do you want eternal youth?
Why shouldn’t furniture tell the truth?
Queen, you’re stuck in a dismal rut.
Who cares who’s strongest now? So what?”
The queen was so furious that she threw a floor lamp at the mirror and broke it into a million pieces. It never offered another opinion again.
Then the queen had an idea. She got some handcuffs and a blindfold and some rope and she dressed herself like a policewoman and went swinging through the jungle. When she got to the tall house in the big woods, she let herself slam against the front door and she cried out in a huge and horrible voice, “This is the police! We have you surrounded. Open up!” But nobody came to the door.
“The police don’t take no for an answer! At the count of three, we’re coming in!” Still no answer.
“One two three,” she roared, and smashed the door down.
But no one was home. There was a note on the kitchen table.
Dear Friends,
I couldn’t stand worrying you any more, so I went to the circus disguised as the Cannonball Chimp. That was me you sent shooting through the roof of the tent! I’ve moved on. It was nice knowing you.
So What
The gorilla raced as fast as she could go to the circus. When she got there, she didn’t have enough money for a ticket. So she arrested the ticket seller and locked him up in handcuffs. Then she rushed into the tent anyway.
Inside, the giraffes were just finishing their acrobatics. Limber and Nimble were riding unicycles on the high wire. Orangelight and Jackielantern were swaying on the flying trapeze, tossing Kimberly back and forth between them. Pumpkin and Goldskin were getting the cannon ready for the finale.
“And now, ladies and gentlemen!” cried the ringmaster, who as you remember was the hunter whom the gorilla queen had fired. “For your delight and terror! A feat never before attempted in circus history! Our new star, the Cannonball Chimp, is going to be shot out of the
When the giraffes came home, they saw So What by the front door. He was nearly gray with lack of air.
The seven giraffes had strong teeth from all that lettuce nibbling. Besides, Pumpkin and Goldskin were excellent trapeze artists and, daily, hung from a rope by their teeth at the highest point of the big top. So all seven of them set to work on the waistband.
Finally they had nibbled it through, and the waistband relaxed. So What breathed in such a big breath that all the furniture inside the house came rushing from the suction and got stuck in a clot in the doorway.
When he could speak again, he said, “Aren’t these the best shorts you ever saw?”
“They need a new waistband,” said Nimble. “Where did you get them, So What?”
“From a pretty sorry-looking Dizzy Dame of the Forest,” said So What, but he bowed his head in shame when they told him he had almost been murdered once more.
“You misbehaved again,” said Orangelight. “Do you know how we would feel if we lost you, dear boy?”
“So what,” he muttered, but really he felt terrible. “I wouldn’t be doing this if you’d let me come to the circus with you!” he cried. “I’m sick of all the housework!”
“No, the wicked gorilla queen might see you there,” said the giraffes. “It’s too risky. You must stay home and you must stay inside until you grow even stronger and better able to take care of yourself. You’re a good strong chimp, but are you any match for a gorilla? We think not.
Behave yourself, now.”
The next morning the gorilla queen said to her mirror,
“Mirror mirror on the wall,
Who’s the strongest one of all?
You’re lying if you name that chimp.
Compared to me, he’s a wilting wimp.”
The mirror said,
“Why do you want eternal youth?
Why shouldn’t furniture tell the truth?
Queen, you’re stuck in a dismal rut.
Who cares who’s strongest now? So what?”
The queen was so furious that she threw a floor lamp at the mirror and broke it into a million pieces. It never offered another opinion again.
Then the queen had an idea. She got some handcuffs and a blindfold and some rope and she dressed herself like a policewoman and went swinging through the jungle. When she got to the tall house in the big woods, she let herself slam against the front door and she cried out in a huge and horrible voice, “This is the police! We have you surrounded. Open up!” But nobody came to the door.
“The police don’t take no for an answer! At the count of three, we’re coming in!” Still no answer.
“One two three,” she roared, and smashed the door down.
But no one was home. There was a note on the kitchen table.
Dear Friends,
I couldn’t stand worrying you any more, so I went to the circus disguised as the Cannonball Chimp. That was me you sent shooting through the roof of the tent! I’ve moved on. It was nice knowing you.
So What
The gorilla raced as fast as she could go to the circus. When she got there, she didn’t have enough money for a ticket. So she arrested the ticket seller and locked him up in handcuffs. Then she rushed into the tent anyway.
Inside, the giraffes were just finishing their acrobatics. Limber and Nimble were riding unicycles on the high wire. Orangelight and Jackielantern were swaying on the flying trapeze, tossing Kimberly back and forth between them. Pumpkin and Goldskin were getting the cannon ready for the finale.
“And now, ladies and gentlemen!” cried the ringmaster, who as you remember was the hunter whom the gorilla queen had fired. “For your delight and terror! A feat never before attempted in circus history! Our new star, the Cannonball Chimp, is going to be shot out of the
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