Learning to Live by R.D. Cole Read Free Book Online Page B

haven’t felt this way in a long time, and it’s both scary and
exciting. I stare at my hands resting on my lap so she won’t see my
pleased expression. “I don’t think so. Besides, he obviously has an
actual girlfriend because they were all over each other before I came
outside looking for you.” I hope I don’t sound jealous. “Also, I don’t
want or have time to date right now. I need to find a job tomorrow
after I purchase my books, and I have a full schedule with my classes
this semester. So there’s really no point to this conversation. You
know?” I think I’m trying to convince myself as much as her.
“Well, honey, I know my brother, and the way he was looking at
you tells me he likes what he sees. Besides, he hasn’t mentioned
having a girlfriend to me or anyone else, so maybe you’re mistaken.
Girls are always trying to get with him, but he doesn’t date much. The
last girlfriend he had I only met during spring break, but it didn’t last
long after that. Her name is Ashton and she’s a complete bitch,
especially to Jaxon. She was always like, ‘ Jaxon do this ,’ and, ‘ Jaxon
do that, ’” she says in a high pitch voice and then shudders from the
memory. “I’m so glad they broke up before summer break.”
“Well, like I said before, I just don’t have the time to dedicate to
any guy.” I can’t get caught up in a guy and his attention again, not
like before. I only need to rely on myself, nobody else.
I stretch my arms above my head and start to get up when Jazz
says, “I don’t know where you learned those ass kicking moves, but all
I can say is WOW. I mean, you’ve got to teach me some of those
moves. Thank God you were there when you were because it could
have been a lot worse for Jen.”
I’m thankful for the subject change, and I have to agree that I’m
relieved I was there for Jen as well. When I walked outside earlier and
saw her fearful gaze fall on me, I knew something wasn’t right. I
listened for her to tell him no, and when he didn’t stop after that, I just
lost it.
I was back in my old apartment, looking into my own eyes while
Brad held me against the wall by my throat, trying to figure out how to
get free to save Brian and me from his cruel intentions, so I did what I
had to do. I tapped him on the shoulder, and when he turned around
and gave me his full attention, asking if I wanted to join, I
reintroduced my knee to his nuts. Then I grabbed him by the wrist and
twisted until he fell down. I’m thankful for those classes and believe
every girl should take them.
“Don’t get me wrong. I was terrified. She had given me a look
that I’m all too familiar with, and I guess instinct took over. I took a
few self-defense classes before I moved from Atlanta. It’s no big deal.”
I shrug my shoulders and go to my small refrigerator to grab myself
some water.
Jazz walks over and gives me one more hug before she leaves me
to my own thoughts. As I lie in bed I think of where my life has led me
and what my plans are for tomorrow. First thing on the list is to go for
a run and check out the gym. Next, find a job, even though I don’t
have any experience other than waitressing and bartending. I’ll find
something to do. I have to because starving is not an option and I still
need to come up with the money for Brian’s headstone.
That last thought has me pulling out Brian’s album, and the same
feeling of sadness overcomes me while my chest tightens. I finger his
tiny footprints and feel the wetness trail down my cheeks. My arms
feel so empty these moments that I grab the blanket he was wrapped in
when he took his last breath, and I hug it to my chest. I just need to
make contact with something that smells like him.
I rock back and forth while sitting on my bed. My throat closes
and my eyes burn as the grief takes over once again. My silent cries
shake my whole body which causes my bed to vibrate. The tightness in
my chest makes my breathing difficult,