Legally Wasted by Tommy Strelka Read Free Book Online Page B

to
begin.”
    “Judge Loundsbury had a lunch appointment and
I don’t think he’s returned yet,” said the clerk.
    Larkin’s head hung low. He already knew what
lay ahead. He was being tag-teamed. The courtroom felt hot and
nearly as humid as the outside air despite the conditioning.
    “I have an idea,” said Wendy as if the
thought had suddenly struck her rather than actually occurring to
her yesterday after her fifth unanswered phone call to Larkin’s
office. “Why don’t we just start with a few of the unrepresented
defendants first while Mr. Monroe circulates my offer in the
lobby?”
    “That sounds fair to me,” said the clerk, who
had apparently appointed herself interim judge.
    The room suddenly shifted as if part of the
underlying foundation had crumbled. Larkin squinted and grabbed the
back of the chair next to him. He quickly realized that he had
begun swaying from side to side and the room was as still as it had
always been. “But, we . . .” Larkin began. His words came
purposefully and with difficulty, “the court does not hear
unrepresented cases until after all of the attorney’s have been
heard.”
    “That’s what we normally do to make it easier
on y’all,” said the clerk. “But I bet that Judge Loundsbury
wouldn’t mind if we switched it up to allow you to speak with your
clients.”
    “You have absolutely no authority here,”
Larkin whispered to himself.
    “There you have it, Mr. Monroe,” said Wendy.
She snapped and the deputy turned. “Why don’t you go ahead and call
the first pro se case while Mr. Monroe works his
magic?” The deputy nodded and stared back at Larkin’s table.
    “I’m moving, I’m moving,” said Larkin as he
shuffled around the table and headed toward the door. He avoided
looking in Wendy’s direction, though he could feel her thin smile
burn into the back of his head as he pushed his weight against the
heavy door.
    As the door swung open, every face in the
lobby turned to view Larkin. Since juvenile and domestic cases were
not open to the public, anytime an individual opened the courtroom
door, dozens of people held their breath and bit their lower lips
as they wondered if their turn had come. Larkin sighed, opened his
briefcase, and began calling names. One by one he was able to find
all six of his court-appointed clients. Their reactions to the
prison settlement offer spanned quite an emotional range.
    “That’s a bunch of bullshit,” spat Mr. Taylor
as he glared at the equally pissed mother of his child from across
the lobby. “That bitch done got married well off and don’t need a
dime. She’s with one of them contractors in Iraq. She sees him six
months a year and he makes over six figures for guarding a
goddamned dumpster. They can shove that deal up their ass.”
    “Jail? What kind of lawyer are you, man?”
asked Mr. Nutley. “I know I ain’t paying you or nothing but I know
if I walked in there without you, I bet I could get a better deal
than that. What kind of law school did you go to?”
    “They want to put me in jail?” asked Mr.
Thacker as he began to smile. “Well, don’t that just beat all? I
done way worse in my life than not pay some dinky child support and
I never had more than a weekend in the jail. And now they want me
for a month.” He shook his head and whistled. “Yes, sir. We live in
a funny world, ain’t no doubt of that.”
    The worst, of course, was Mr. Powers. When he
made simple eye contact with Larkin, the larger man had to turn
around and cover his eyes. “I’ve been watching you talk to people,”
he said as Larkin approached. “It can’t be good. I’ve seen how
they’ve been reacting. That one guy in the red hat looked like he
was going to deck you. I’m going to jail aren’t I?”
    “Yeah, well the deputy will deck him if he
wears that hat inside the court room, and I’m not warning him.”
Larkin cleared his throat, wiped more sweat from his forehead, and
tried to swallow some spit but he