Les Norton and the Case of the Talking Pie Crust by Robert G. Barrett Read Free Book Online Page B

on the eye and mouth, and a kick got him in the groin where luckily the fork in his jeans blunted the blow. However, the man was in such a heightened state of rage, his kicks and punches were mostly ineffective. Not wasting any time, Les set himself and drilled the enraged man with a sizzling straight left, splitting both his lips. The bloke cursed, spat some blood, then came back swinging. Les nailed him with another, even harder, straight left followed by a filthy left hook that mashed the bloke’s nose across his face and sent him reeling back down the hallway into the wall. Les tore after him and kicked him in the stomach and kneecap, kneed him in the balls then whacked him with another left hook and kicked him in the stomach again.
    ‘You cunt,’ the bloke howled. ‘I’ll fuckin kill you. I’ll kill you.’ The bloke gave a roar, then bounced off the wall, furiously throwing punches at Les.
    Les moved to the side, set himself and belted the bloke with an awesome short right that shattered his jaw and knocked out several teeth.The bloke came straight back at Les, screaming obscenities and throwing punches. Blocking the punches, Les bashed the bloke with a left and a right, then took him by his bloodied T-shirt and slammed his head into the wall, before spinning him across the hallway and slamming his head into the opposite wall, then kicking out his other knee.
    ‘You cunt,’ screamed the man, still throwing punches through the pain and blood. ‘I’ll kill you, you cunt. I’ll fuckin kill you.’
    Les brought his boot up into the bloke’s balls again, elbowed him twice across his broken jaw, then followed up with two more left hooks and another pulverising straight right that sent globs of blood spattering across the walls and floor.
    ‘Ohh, you cunt. I’ll kill you. I’ll fuckin kill you.’ Despite being on the end of a ferocious beating, the enraged man kept coming at Les, his lacerated face twisted into a mask of tortured anger.
    Les ducked under another flurry of punches, grabbed the bloke round the knees then picked him up and body-slammed him hard onto the wooden floor, amost breaking his back.
    ‘Aaarrgh! You cunt,’ hollered the bloke, throwing punches from the floor. ‘I’ll kill you. I’ll fuckin kill you.’
    By now, Norton’s blood was up. Feeling the bones crunching through his Doc Martens, he kicked all the bloke’s ribs in along one side, then kicked him several times in the head. He jumped on him, jumped on him again, kicked all his other ribs in, kicked him in the kidneys then stomped on his head, grinding the bloke’s face into the floor.
    ‘Ohhhh, you cunt,’ came a pitiful wail. ‘I’ll kill you. Fuckin kill you.’ Slipping and sliding in his own blood, the bloke made an agonised attempt to get to his knees. ‘You cunt,’ he panted. ‘You’ll get nothing. I’ll kill you. I’ll fuckin kill you.’
    ‘Jesus Christ!’ railed Norton. ‘What are you? A fuckin replicant?’
    ‘Fuck you,’ the bloke cursed.
    ‘Yeah, and fuck you too.’ Les stepped back and gave the bloke a solid kick in the ribs followed by another in the head that dropped him flat on his face.
    ‘Aaarrghh, you cunt. I’ll kill you. I swear to God. I’ll fuckin kill you.’
    Les was about to break one of the bloke’s arms, when the front of the house was washed with light and a car pulled up in the driveway. Doors slammed and two men appeared in the doorway dressed much like Les. One had a mop of tightbrown curls, the other’s hair was dyed white and cut close to his scalp. The curly-haired man looked at Les, then noticed the bloke he’d been fighting lying on the floor covered in blood, still cursing Les and punching the air.
    ‘Shit. That’s Micah,’ yelled the bloke with the curly hair. ‘Get the cunt, Zack.’
    ‘You go for his throat, Brett,’ his mate yelled back, slamming the door shut behind him.
    The two men charged straight at Les, who stepped back to ride the shock. At the same