Lies and Prophecy by Marie Brennan Read Free Book Online Page B

modified Yan-style circle?”
    I nodded. “The principle of it was sound enough. The problem wasn’t in the method. And according to the guys, it wasn’t in my athame, either. Which means it must be in me.”
    â€œWhat does that mean, though?” Liesel asked. “What kind of problem?”
    â€œI’m just never going to be good at CM.” The words came out with difficulty. I didn’t want them to be true, because of what they meant.
    â€œBut didn’t you say you were able to channel the power?”
    â€œDraw it,” I corrected her, but frowned as I said it. “Which … I don’t know. Usually people with small talents can’t pull much power to begin with, like I can’t light much more than a candle. But I guess there’s other ways to be untalented.”
    Sounding for all the world like a Socratic philosopher, Liesel said, “What’s talent, though?”
    I rolled my eyes. “What you’re born with. Or what you manifest with, in this case. As opposed to what’s learned.”
    â€œDo you think the difficulty with your circle is one you could learn your way out of?”
    I started to answer reflexively, then stopped myself. I’d drawn power—more than I ever did when I was a teenager. That had to count for something, right? The problem wasn’t what I’d thought it was a month ago. And in that case…. “Maybe,” I said. I wasn’t at all sure, but it was worth believing in, at least for now.
    And then I remembered the cards. “But I think I might need help.”
    â€œHelp?” Liesel echoed. “How so?”
    I got up and fetched my deck, mostly to feel the reassuring weight of it in my hand. “You don’t have to remind me what I’ve got taped to my screen. But I did a reading for myself, and it suggested I look to other people for assistance.”
    Liesel tilted her head in thought. “I don’t think you mean Grayson’s office hours.” She laughed at my vehement gesture of refusal. “But I bet Julian would help, if you asked.”
    â€œNo.” That bothered me almost as much as the prospect of Grayson. “I’m not going to him with this. He’s a wilder; it would be like asking a fish for swimming lessons.”
    Amusement curled the corners of her mouth, but she didn’t push it. Then one of her hands rose to hover in mid-air, as if about to close around an idea. “Would you like to join the Palladian?”
    â€œYour circle?” I pulled back in surprise. “I’m not really Wiccan, though.”
    â€œNeither are half our members—Rafael’s practically an atheist. Those of us who care about the religious aspect take center stage on the holidays; the rest of the time it’s a social thing, and some low-grade ceremonial magic. Good practice for you, in a context where people are used to helping each other out.”
    I busied myself putting the cards away in their box, buying time to think. The Palladian … they were Liesel’s friends, much more than mine. I knew them all, well enough to sit with them in class or eat the occasional meal together, but we weren’t close. And I knew their leader well enough to foresee one potential problem. “Michele wouldn’t like having me there. Agnostic and unreliable with ritual magic? She runs a tighter circle than that.”
    â€œBut would you like to? If you do, then I can talk to Michele, and see what she thinks. The others would be fine with it, I’m sure.”
    Would I like to? No. It would mean admitting my weakness in front of others, after years of pretending I just had no interest in CM. But maybe this was what I needed.
    â€œSure,” I said, and crossed my fingers as Liesel went to call Michele.
    ~
    Robert cast the circle with an easy competence I envied. It was no big deal; tonight’s ritual wasn’t anything requiring authorization