Little Battles

Little Battles by N.K. Smith Read Free Book Online Page A

Book: Little Battles by N.K. Smith Read Free Book Online
Authors: N.K. Smith
thought of her applying with me calmed me a little, but I had no way of knowing if she truly would, and even if she did, it didn’t mean that she’d be accepted. She wasn’t stupid. I knew she was actually quite smart, because I’d seen the grades on her tests when Reese handed them back, and also based on all of our conversations. But if she did apply and even if we were accepted into the same school, I had no guarantee that she would go, especially based on what she’d said earlier. She didn’t exactly sound motivated.
    “S-S-SSSophie,” I gasped, unprepared for the intensity of the situation. I was sure we looked stupid and if Chris saw us, he’d be extra cruel tomorrow, but I couldn’t get myself to move.
    I wanted to put the ridiculous envelopes in that stupid blue box. I wanted to do it because Sophie was there and she wanted me to. My brain yelled at my feet to move, but they wouldn’t. Although I wasn’t gasping for breath like during a regular attack, I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t want to disappoint her, but I wasn’t able to get over the fear and panic that was holding me down.
    I had no idea how long we stood there like that until I was finally able to open my eyes, but it was only because Sophie removed her hand from my hair.
    “You can mail them tomorrow,” she said, her voice quiet as she gave me the out that I needed.
    I let out a deep breath.
    “But food for thought,” she said as she moved away from me, and walked over to my car. “You’re way too smart to flip burgers or pour concrete. A job is a job, but those aren’t for you.” She turned her back to me. “There are people everywhere. Not all of them are assholes, but most are. Don’t let the fact that you don’t know them keep you from doing awesome things.”
    She opened the car door and I looked down at the letters in my hand and sighed. I felt completely sick to my stomach, my head was swimming, and I was drowning in a sea of emotion, but I sucked in a deep breath and said, “Y-y-you d-d-d-do it.”
    I thrust out my hand, gripping the envelopes tight and making them wrinkle.
    Sophie turned around. With a half-smile, she said, “I’m not going to walk all the way back over there if you’re not going to let me really do it this time.”
    I held my arm out farther. “P-p-please?”
    I closed my eyes as she came back toward me. My breathing sped back up as I felt her take the papers from my hand. I nearly choked on my heart when I heard the creaking of the metal door. I had to concentrate really hard on not vomiting.
    “There. Now Elliott’s going to college and there’s nothing he can do about it, so there’s absolutely no reason for him to worry.”
    I sighed. “W-why are you t-talking about me in the th-third p-person?”
    When I opened my eyes, I saw her smiling. “Because I’m telling you that you’re not going to worry.”
    I swallowed hard as she tugged on my arm, but then released it. “Now that that’s over…”
    It was a long moment before I could move my feet, but when I did, I found myself no less stressed about the applications than before. However, now the stress was accompanied by sadness over the fact that I would be taking her home, but I finally made myself move.
    When I pulled up at the curb, she turned while unbuckling her seatbelt. “Do you feel better about it now?”
    I knew she was talking about the applications, and I didn’t want to lie. “N-no.”
    “You will. Don’t let that shit bother you so much. You think too much.”
    “Sssssorry.”
    Sophie chuckled and threw me a smile. “I don’t want an apology. I like that you think too much, but don’t convince yourself that you can’t do something.”
    “I-I’m ssssorry.”
    “Stop.”
    “I-I c-c-c-can’t, S-Sophie. I-I d-don’t w-w-want to…” I stumbled, “…l-let you d-down, b-but I j-just c-c…”
    I stopped talking, suddenly aware that Sophie was on her knees in the passenger seat facing me. Her hands

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