Little Chicago by Adam Rapp Read Free Book Online Page B

sails over my head and slams into the bleachers. Robert Kinsella’s ball hits Eric Duggan in the face and his glasses fly. Eric Duggan sits down like he’s tired. His left lens has popped out and that eye looks huge and glued on.
    Robert Kinsella makes a power fist like he won the Illinois Lotto.
    Eric Duggan stands up but he has to sit down again. And then he farts and makes a face.
    They’ll no doubt be talking about this in the cafeteria.
    When I go to help him Steve Degerald throws a ball and it hits me square in the chest. The sound is like meat falling on the kitchen floor. I slip a little but I keep from falling.
    It feels like I’ve walked into a mailbox.
    My breath goes away for a second and I cough.
    Sometimes I worry that my lungs are too small.
    I sit like Eric Duggan but I don’t get back up. Generally I do my best to not be stupid.
    I don’t want them talking about me in the cafeteria.
    Steve Degerald is holding two balls now. He’s looking at me and pretending they’re breasts. Evan Keefler can’t get enough of this and he laughs like a witch.
    Someday I will grow large and wield certain weapons. Like nunchucks or those swords from Blackbelt Theater.
    You’re out, Brown, Coach Corcoran says. And you too, Duggan.
    Eric Duggan finally finds his lens and we move off to the side. Half of his face is pink and he’s doing his best not to touch it.
    It takes Eric Duggan too long to make his way to the side and Coach Corcoran isn’t pleased about this fact.
    When you’re out you’re out! Coach Corcoran yells. If you can’t play by the rules then you won’t play at all! You two get a shower!
    We can’t do the Monkey Drill today cause the girls are on the other side of the gym playing badminton.
    Coach Corcoran is did and has a face that looks like it is made out of bread and everyone knows he fought in the Vietnam Conflict.
    In Social Studies Miss Cosgrove corrected Heidi Winch when she called Vietnam a war.
    It was a conflict, Heidi, Miss Cosgrove said. This country hasn’t fought in a war in a very long time.
    Coach Corcoran has tattoos and he tries to hide them by wearing long sleeves but they always creep up his forearms.
    One of the tattoos is a woman with large breasts and a snake.
    Next week we got the Presidential Physical Fitness Test, Coach Corcoran says. You better find those shoes, Brown, or I’d advise getting a new pair.
    At the end of the fifth grade I caught Coach Corcoran picking his nose. He rolled the snots between his fingers and stared at it. He saw me watching him and I’m convinced that this is why he takes a special interest in me.
    In the shower Eric Duggan is still trying not to touch his face. His body is thin and blank like mine. His penis looks like a mushroom.
    While showering I always worry that I will pop a boner, but the water is cold and this helps matters.
    Coach Corcoran has a three-minute rule and even though he’s not here to enforce it we play along cause everyone in the sixth grade believes that his experience in the Vietnam Conflict gave him special powers.
    So did you see the hail yesterday? Eric Duggan asks, putting his pits under the water.
    I saw it, I say.
    Pretty weird, huh? Hail in October?
    It is weird, I say.
    Eric Duggan says, Mr. Prisby said it’s the first hail he’s seen in over ten years.
    I have no idea why we’re talking about hail. The fact that everyone keeps bringing it up must mean something.
    I imagine spaceships coming down and taking people away.
    The cuts on my feet still sting. Ma left some Neosporin antibacterial ointment for me on the kitchen table but after I put it on most of it got smeared in my sock.
    Eric Duggan touches his face and then his lip starts to quiver. He’s been trying to make his lip stop quivering for several minutes now.
    His nipples are so small they’re like mosquito bites. You practically have to do detective work to find