Little Lady Agency and The Prince by Hester Browne Read Free Book Online Page A

go and put the kettle on.’
    Lars blinked owlishly. ‘For hot water?’
    ‘No,’ snapped Allegra, appearing behind him, ‘so the ambulance men can have a cup of tea when they get here. Hurry up, Lars!’
    ‘Have you done this before?’ demanded William, hoisting Emery into his arms as easily as if she were a bag of gym kit.
    ‘No, but Nelson did a First Aid course and he was always practising on me,’ I said. ‘Now come on, she needs to be somewhere more comfortable.’
    ‘The boot room,’ interjected Daddy quickly. ‘That sofa needs replacing in any case. Emery,’ he said, leaning over her and over-enunciating right into her face, ‘hang on until you get there. Don’t do anything on the main carpet.’
    ‘If you don’t get a move on, I don’t think there’ll be much choice where the baby’s born,’ I said.
    Emery made a faint moan of horror.
    ‘I’ll get the brandy,’ said Daddy, as if this would solve everything.
    As he strode off to his study, William set off down the hall with Emery in his arms and me and Allegra following at a safe distance.
    ‘Oh, it’s on the way? That’s wonderful .’ Granny was winding up her conversation in the manner of someone discussing a weekend party invitation.
    ‘Anything I can do?’ asked Jonathan, leaning on the staircase.
    ‘Get everyone a stiff drink and keep Daddy out of the way until it’s all over – start him off on Scottish devolution or something,’ I said.
    ‘Shall I send your mother through?’
    I considered.
    ‘Get her a couple of large gins first,’ I advised. ‘She’s pretty squeamish.’
    ‘Will do,’ he said. He started to walk away, then turned back with a huge grin on his face. ‘You know, I love it when you cope like this, Melissa.’
    I smiled wryly. God knows I’d had enough practice over the years.

3
     
    After helping to deliver my very first baby on Saturday night, then listening to the whole thing re-enacted down the phone by my father for the benefit of the local press, with himself in the new lead role of Modest But Capable First Aider, the rest of the weekend was naturally somewhat flat.
    Or, looking at it more positively, nothing else happened.
    Emery’s baby turned out to be a boy, much to Daddy and William’s delight. Daddy was actually more delighted than William, and went round saying he felt as if he finally had the heir he’d wanted for years, which made me, Emery and Allegra feel great, as you might imagine, especially when he said it six times to six different journalists.
    Even so, we were all bowled over by the tiny, pink shrimp of a baby curled up in the drawer from a Chippendale chest, which was lined with Mummy’s spare pashminas and pillows.
    But if his dark hair, balled-up fists and irked expression didn’t give away his Romney-Jones genes, his lungs confirmed them. When he wasn’t asleep, or plugged onto Emery, he screeched and screeched and screeched. Nothing would stop him. It was like being trapped in a house with the car alarms, the fire alarm and the burglar alarm all going off at once. In fact at one point, my car alarm did go off, and we only noticed when Mrs Lloyd came in and begged me to sort it out because the dogs were going crazy.
    Emery, naturally, slept through most of it (or pretended to), and the district nurse ended up giving me the list of instructions and advice for new mums.
    Not that anyone else seemed to be stepping forward to help. Lars and Allegra left after breakfast, arguing about who should drive back to their London house in Ham, and Granny bailed out soon after.
    ‘I’m absolutely hopeless with babies, darling,’ she sighed regretfully, pulling on her kidskin gloves and adjusting her fur hat in the hall mirror as the deafening roar continued upstairs. ‘One was quite enough for me.’ She leaned up to kiss Jonathan’s cheek. ‘So lovely to see you again, Jonathan dear. Take care of Melissa for me, won’t you? Now, Melissa,’ she went on, with a meaningful twitch