anything less.”
“Adrienne, he’s sex on a fucking stick. Why were you so rude? I was two seconds from climbing up that tall body of his and latching on forever.”
“I know he’s sexy! You’d have to be blind to not notice that. When he said my name with that deep voice of his…” I shiver just thinking about it. “I’d let him fuck me in a second, but that’s all it would be. He’s always with a different girl. I’ve seen him with four different chicks now. He’s obviously a player. I’d never be able to be in a relationship with him.”
“So don’t be! Just fuck him and then tell me how it is!” Em shrieks.
“I’ve never been one to do the whole fuck buddies thing. You know that.”
“Yeah, but you’ve never had the chance to be fuck buddies with someone who could be a Greek God!” Emilie closes her eyes and puts her hands together like she’s praying.
“What are you doing?” I ask with a laugh.
“Praying to God and asking him to please send me another God-like creature that I can lick from head to toe.”
“While you’re at it, ask him to send me one, too. But one that doesn’t fuck everybody and their mom.”
“Okay,” she says with her eyes still closed.
She opens them back up and looks at me. “It’s done. Now we wait.”
We laugh as we climb into a cab that pulls up in front of us.
“Wanna stay at my house tonight?” I ask Em.
“I guess. I was planning on using my vibrator and having naughty thoughts about God-like creatures though. Are you okay with that?”
“Only if you’re okay with me doing it, too,” I reply.
We both look at each other and then burst out laughing.
“Okay then,” she says.
“Honestly, Em. I need to get laid. It’s been too long.”
“Ugh. You’re telling me! I haven’t had sex in like…” she pauses, counting on her fingers, “six months!”
“I think it’s been like nine months for me,” I say with a pout.
“Since Liam?” she asks.
“Yep. That shouldn’t even count, though. He wasn’t that good. Selfish bastard.”
“My last time was with a guy I met in a bar. He was fine! He had all these muscles and I just knew I was gonna have some amazing, drunk sex. We get back to my place and we fall into the bed, ripping our clothes off, and he puts a condom on and then jumps on top of me. He goes to push it inside of me and I can barely feel anything! I wasn’t sure if he was hard or not. It was terrible, and then he came in like two minutes. What’s worse is that when he was done, he said, ‘not bad, huh?’ What the fuck? I could have kicked him in the face. Worst. Sex. Ever.”
I can’t help but laugh. “Oh my gosh! That’s worse than Liam. You win…or lose I guess.”
We pull up to the apartment complex and pay the cabbie. Taking off our heels, we make our way up to the lobby of the building and get in the elevator. Once we hit the third floor, we walk the short distance to my door and throw all of our stuff on the floor as soon as we walk in.
“I just got hit with a wave of sleepiness just now,” I say.
“Me too. That alcohol is catching up to me.”
“Guess I won’t be having any naughty thoughts tonight, I’d probably fall asleep before I finished. Like Liam,” I say and laugh at my own joke.
“Eh. Maybe I’ll get a second wind,” Em says.
We go and change into some shorts and tank tops before laying across the wide, black couch in my living room. We lie feet to feet with our heads on the arm rests on each side and put on a chick flick. I don’t know how long we stay up, but we both end up falling asleep there on the couch. That night I dream of beautiful, blue eyes and tall, God-like men.
When I wake up in the morning, I smell bacon and coffee. I push myself up and can see directly into the kitchen. I get up and shuffle towards the breakfast bar, sit down and groan.
Em turns around with a smile on her face. “Good morning, sunshine!”
“Ugh. How are you a morning person? I hate