Living with Shadows by Annette Heys Read Free Book Online Page A

going nowhere in life, no talent what so ever. To me living was not all it was cracked up to be. I was very disappointed with life. I sometimes wished for the grim reaper to come and take me away and see if the grass is really greener on the other side. I think I thought like this cause of my shitty past life and this mad family. Well the mother and son anyway. Well I left there and went to Sheffield to see this person who was partly to blame for bringing me into this world. Id not seen him since I was about 5 or 6. I only remember him when we got smacked. Some memory. But I thought well he is older and may be wiser. I thought to myself do I call this person dad or by his name. After all it was a stranger. So I thought why don’t I call him dad to wind the old bastard up. I only wanted to see if he had changed and see what he looked like. I was not nervous about meeting him. After all he was the main reason why my Mum left him. After he came back from the pub he thought he was a man by beating my Mum black and blue. She soon left him. That’s how we ended up in Belfast.
    Well I got the coach to Sheffield, what a dump, and got a taxi to his house. I got out and his girlfriend was waiting at the door for me. I went in the house and saw this tall, a bit over weight bloke standing there. So this was my dad. I did not feel anything for him. We went out that night for a drink with his girlfriend. I don’t remember saying much that night. I was still feeling a bit tired from the journey up. After a week I found out what he was really like. He got pissed, had an argument with his girlfriend who he had been with for a few years. Anyway she walked out on him. She asked me if I was staying. I thought Im not going to look after that drunken shit head. When I went off with Eileen he started accusing her of taking his son. I thought what a load of bollocks. I had one birthday card off him in fifteen years and he thinks Im his son. No way. Anyway I got to meet the rest of Eileen’s family. They were all nice and they were women but unluckily for me they were all married. I ended up staying with one of Eileen’s sons. He was all right as long as he laid of the drink. His girlfriend was ok as well. I still went around to see my dad but I couldn’t live with him. He was too much of a piss head. I would go out with him for a drink but I made sure he paid for it. I thought I could make a go of it but things changed. As the weeks and months went by my dad would be drunk a lot of the time. His girlfriend Eileen would leave him after arguments with him. Once she left for 3 weeks. I thought that was that but like some stupid women do they come back for more punishment. I don’t know what makes women do this. I always thought they were smarter than that. Id never dream of hitting a woman no matter what. The only way I would hit a woman is by putting her over my knee. Very kinky. Well I left Sheffield after about four month’s. There were some good times and some bad but Im glad I found out what he was like. I thought all these things my Mum said about him were just to put me off seeing him. Well I was wrong. She was right. Its right what they say always listen to your mother they know Best well sometimes anyway. When I left Sheffield I never told anybody I was going except for this one family I got to know while I was there. They were very nice. The old woman was not that well but I told her why I was leaving. She knew what my dad was like and she understood why I wanted to leave without telling anybody. I thought it was a good idea at the time and I still do.
    Well I got a coach down to Watford. I never told anyone I was coming. I think its better that way. Well I got to my aunties place but she was never there. She worked in a chip shop. She would never let me pay for anything. I always felt guilty about that. She got told off a few times for it but nothing worried her. She was my favourite aunty. She always looked after me. She had nothing