her head she was unable to formulate a response. She clenched her eyes shut and urgently rubbed her forehead.
"On a scale of 1-10, what's the pain?" he asked,
moving closer to her bed.
"Six" she gritted out.
"How about you try that again and tell me the truth?"
"Nine" she whispered, "maybe 10."
Scribbling down orders on her chart, he nodded. "Okay. We're going to try and shrink the tumor with some localized radiation before I remove it," he told her. "I'm going to increase your pain meds in the
meantime. We'll plan for your surgery in about a week's time."
"How...how is he?" she asked.
Andrew shook his head. "I'll discuss a lot of things with you Nat but not him. He is off limits, do you understand?"
"Yeah" she sighed. If only her heart would get the same message
#
"You had me paged?" Eric queried as he entered
Nathalie's room.. "Five times". He added brusquely.
"If you had answered the four previous times, I wouldn't have had to page you the fifth." She said, indignation in her eyes.
"If I recall, patience never was your strong
suit." His retort dripped in sarcasm as he moved to stand at the foot of her bed.
"If I recall, you were never a coward." Her eyes flashed in a challenge. "So what happened?"
Eric's jaw tightened reflexively. "I don't think you are any position to judge me a coward."
Nathalie had the grace to lower her eyes as she swallowed the lump in her throat. "Touché." She smiled wryly as her eyes once
again met his, this time with a sheen of tears.
Eric visibly fought the urge to go to her, to offer comfort. She was reminded that their fights, while never unkind, had always been passionate with neither of them giving any quarter until the bitter end. It was
almost a tradition that all of their fights ended up with them in bed; both so turned on in mind and body that their coming together was explosive.
"What did you need, Nat?"
You was the first response that popped in her mind but she knew that would not be welcome. "Why...why didn't you tell me you had given my case to Andrew?" she asked quietly.
"We decided he would tell you at the same time he
discussed your treatment options."
"I don't have options, Eric," she said heatedly. "My only option is surgery and I would feel more comfortable with you
operating. "
"Why? Andrew is a very capable doctor. You know that."
"Andrew also hates me, Eric."
"And for some reason you don't think I feel the same
way?" His tone was cold.
Waves of emotion passed over her face as she absorbed the devastation she left in her wake. Shaking her head slowly as she anxiously pulled at her fingers she locked her gaze with Eric.
"I guess I had hoped that as angry with me as you may
have been, and as much as I hurt you, you would remember the good times between us. Andrew looks at me and only sees how much I hurt you."
Eric blinked repeatedly at the tears forming in his eyes.
"I do remember the good times, Nat." he said thickly. "Unfortunately, I can't forget them. And I can't forget how you walked out on me without a word, without an explanation. How you never told me..."
Eric bit off the last of his sentence before he said too much.
Stunned, Nathalie nodded in understanding. "I know it may not make sense but I thought I was doing the right thing when I left."
"Would you care to explain that? Are you finally ready
to tell me why you thought it was okay to blow my world to hell without discussion?" Eric asked, hope tinging his voice.
"I can't." she whispered, in obvious distress.
"It's complicated."
"Yeah, I'm sure it is" he acknowledged. "Which is why Drew needs to do this surgery. If you don't want him to do it, you can find another surgeon. But it won't be me, Nat." Their eyes
connected as both let years of things left unsaid pass between them. "It can't be," he said with finality.
"Ok. Drew it is."
"Alright. Well, I guess that's it," he said as he
walked to the door.
"Yeah, that's it." Nathalie echoed in slightly more