Longest Whale Song by Jacqueline Wilson Read Free Book Online Page B

either.
    â€˜I can’t go to
school
, not when Mum’s ill,’ I say, outraged.
    â€˜Ella, it looks like Mum might be ill for a long time,’ says Jack. ‘You can’t stay off school week after week. And neither can I. I’ve got to go back soon too.’
    â€˜Are you going to Garton Road tomorrow then?’
    â€˜No, I’ve got things to do.’ He kicks the tray of lukewarm Chinese with his foot. ‘I’ve got to go and do some shopping for a start.’
    â€˜You’re going
shopping
?’
    â€˜We’ve got to start eating some decent food – we can’t live on takeaways. And I’ve got to see if I can find someone to look after the baby.’
    â€˜But the nurses look after him in the hospital.’
    â€˜Yes, but he can’t stay there, not indefinitely. He’s got to come home with us, so we need a nursery or a childminder or someone to look after him during the day while I’m teaching. Mum was going to look after him herself for six months so we hadn’t got anyone lined up yet.’ He looks at me, rubbing his eyes. ‘We’ll have to find someone to look after you too whenever I have to work late. There’s so much to organize. I can’t get my headround any of it just at the moment. Anyway, off you hop to bed. And tomorrow morning I’ll drive you to school, and then come and pick you up afterwards and take you to see Mum then.’
    â€˜No! I need to be
with
Mum.’
    â€˜Well, you can’t,’ Jack snaps. ‘Will you just stop arguing! I’m trying my hardest to do what’s best for you. It doesn’t help if you argue back all the time.’
    â€˜I don’t always argue.’
    â€˜There you go! For pity’s sake, Ella. Couldn’t you try to be reasonable and do as you’re told just for a few days, while Mum’s so ill?’
    â€˜Mum’s ill because of you! If you hadn’t come along, she wouldn’t have had the baby, and so she wouldn’t have got ill!’ I shout. ‘It’s all your fault, Jack.’
    He stares at me, shaking his head. ‘Ella, it’s not anybody’s fault. We weren’t to know Mum would have this reaction. She was absolutely fine when she had you.’
    â€˜Yes, we were all fine then, Mum and my real dad and me.’
    â€˜I know you find it hard that I’m your stepdad—’
    â€˜I wish you weren’t!’
    â€˜I wish I wasn’t too!’ he shouts.
    I run out of the room and up the stairs. There!I
knew
he didn’t like me. He’s as good as said so. I don’t know why it’s making me cry so much. It just feels so
lonely
. I haven’t got anyone else but Mum. Jack wishes I wasn’t here. Liz doesn’t want me around. Sally doesn’t understand.
    I lie down on my bed and cry and cry. I keep waiting for the footsteps on the stairs – but Jack doesn’t come. So at long last I wash my sodden face and get into my pyjamas and crawl into bed.
    I lie under the covers, arms wrapped tightly round myself. I haven’t got a proper mum any more, I haven’t got a dad . . . Well, I
do
have a dad. A real one, not a stepdad.
    I screw up my face in the dark, trying to conjure up my dad. I last saw him two years ago – maybe three. He came to take me out on my birthday. Mum and I couldn’t believe it when we opened the door.
    â€˜Surprise!’ he said.
    It was
such
a surprise we just gaped at him. For a second or two I didn’t even guess that he was my dad. I thought he was someone else’s dad, or maybe one of Mum’s teacher friends, or a seldom-noticed neighbour. Then of course I realized. This was
my
dad, and he had his arms open wide and he was hugging me. I felt hot with embarrassment, my face crammed against his stripy shirt.
    â€˜My lovely little Ella,’ he said.
    I was only small then but I knew he was expecting some kind of loving reaction.