Lost Dreams by Jude Ouvrard Read Free Book Online Page A

be pregnant with his child. It was on my mind all the time nowadays, a fervent desire to start a family. I knew I was more than ready.
    When I found Megan and Juliet, they were looking at t-shirts to pair with Juliet's leggings. I let them do their thing, in all honesty, I didn’t know how I could possibly help them. It was obvious mother and daughter shared a strong bond, Megan was very patient with her daughter, listening to what she thought and wanted.
    That night, when I went to bed I was utterly exhausted. I didn’t even have to take a sleeping pill. Once I was settled under the sheets, I thought about how good my day had been.
    Megan had given me so much today. More than just fashion advice, she had given me my confidence and self-esteem back. I'd spent the last decade of my life in a world where fashion didn’t have a place, a world where I was used to wearing black combat boots and Army camouflage. There had been no place for sexiness or looking feminine. I had been in a man's world and at the time, I'd absolutely adored it.
    My shopping day with Megan seemed like the beginning of a new chapter. I had to catch up on all those years and be proud of who I had become.
    I drifted off into a deep sleep, happy and truly contented for the first time since Carter's departure. Next thing I knew, my body was covered in sweat and my heart was pounding. I was awakened by the nightmare of grenades and gunfire and I saw familiar flashes of light before my eyes before I managed to drag myself back to reality.
    "Shit!" I exclaimed when I recognized I was in our bedroom and not in the middle of a war zone. "Damn it," I cried.
    It took several minutes before I could breathe evenly again. The nightmare was so real, I could hear the guys screaming my name and rushing to retrieve me. I should have known better than to miss taking my medication. The end result of going without the tablets was that I was alone in the darkness, crying and desperately trying to block the visions I'd seen in my head. They seemed so real, a nightmarish repeat of my near-fatal accident. Not only did I have physical scars as a reminder, I felt certain the mental scars would haunt me for years to come.
    I dried my tears with the back of my hand and got up to take the medication. I wanted to have a positive attitude, but nothing would erase the images I carried in my mind. I had to learn to deal with them, something Carter had reinforced hundreds of times. Today had been wonderful, but I knew I had to find a way to use happy memories to diffuse the bad, and make my life better.

8.
August 1st, 2007
Remy
    B eing deployed in Iraq was nothing new to me. I had already spent over eighteen months here on different operations. This time, it was hard not to be with Avery. It was only me and Carter and I was missing Avery. Avery was a great leader and her good-natured spirit was definitely missing around here. Only men were in the Special Forces. Being with her during our last deployment was a lucky break, when the Special Forces were teamed up with regular soldiers.
    Carter had moped around for the first two weeks, but one day he'd woken up and was back to his old self. I thought it had something to do with Ave, because he kept reading a letter he'd received from her the day before.
    It was a good thing she had the power to kick his ass in a letter, because I'd been about to do it for her. When you're on a mission, you have to be there one hundred percent, or you become a dead-weight on your fellow soldiers and it can end badly. I didn’t want that for him, myself, or anyone else on this mission.
    Early this morning, we heard some of our friends died when their convoy was hit by two roadside bombs. The driver had died instantly and two other guys died later from their injuries. We had been deployed with them in Afghanistan a few years ago. It was devastating, even more so as they were all husbands and fathers. I was trying to go on with my day normally, but the pain and