Lost Dreams by Jude Ouvrard Read Free Book Online Page B

sadness was nearly overwhelming.
    If I was going to die tomorrow, I wouldn’t be leaving a wife or kid behind. I was sure Carter and Avery would be sad to lose me but at least I wouldn’t tear apart the life of a family.
    This being our last deployment, I was beginning to think of trying to meet someone. I didn't want to stay alone all my life. My heart had been broken before and it still hurt at times but I had to move on. I needed to do it for my own sanity because even though I'd been hurt before, I believed in my heart that the right girl was out there somewhere.
    I didn’t know where I was going to live when my days in Special Forces ended. I was used to North Carolina but I missed living in South Carolina with my family. I thought I might consider somewhere by the beach or maybe even move to a big city like New York.
    My mind wouldn’t shut down, I had all these whirling thoughts about the future, my plans and the loss of my friends. Military life wasn’t easy, everybody knew that. I was under a lot of stress with the recent deaths and injuries amongst my friends. We'd heard of two attacks already and never knew when our turn would come.
    My back had been more painful than usual, our equipment was heavy and I had a lumbar sprain not too long ago. I was dreaming about having a massage, knowing it would help with the pain, but right now, the only thing which would subdue the constant ache were painkillers. I'd been taking them on daily basis and knew they were slowly losing their effect.
    Carter and Patrick were playing cards and seemed to be having a good time while I just laid in bed. In the past, this would have been where Ave would sit beside me and she would talk about everything and anything.
    I missed her.
    Hey girl,
    I think this must be the longest period of time we've ever gone through without talking to one another. I hope you're doing well and adjusting to being on your own. I heard from Carter that you've been hanging out with Megan, that’s great news. She's a cool girl and I think she would be a good friend for you.
    Here, it's the same shit, different day. Our missions are a bit more stressful due to the recent attacks, which I think Carter mentioned to you. I'm finding it tougher to deal with this time around, everything just seems harder to cope with.
    To be honest, I’m writing you to thank you. I don't know what the fuck you wrote to Carter, but since he received it he must have read it a hundred times and he's back to normal. It was exactly what we needed. You know as well as I do, as Master Sergeant, he can't just mope around all day. Again, from me and the rest of the boys, thank you.
    Write back if you feel like it. I would love to know how your new life is going.
    Remy
    P.S. Write back even if you don't feel like it.
    I addressed the letter and gave it to the guy in charge of sending out our mail. I knew Avery wouldn’t receive it any time soon, but it didn't matter. I was missing my good friend and her kick-ass attitude and sending a letter to her had improved my day.
    Tonight was a free night, we were off-duty, with no patrols scheduled. I was going to try and catch up on some sleep, which was wishful thinking on my part because I was a lousy sleeper nowadays. I suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder since I'd seen Avery nearly get killed. I was feet away from her when the bomb went off, watched in horror as her body was thrown into the air and then crashed to the ground. I heard her screams and ran to her as fast as I could. Avery wasn’t in the Special Forces but during that deployment, we'd been teamed up with regular soldiers.
    When I got to her, I'd never seen her look so lost and scared. As she lay there, so badly injured, she kept repeating ''Save me, Remy, save me.'' It was the hardest moment of my life. I knew she was in pain from the moan which escaped her mouth. She passed out before Carter reached us and thank God for that, because he would have freaked out even more