Louise Rennison_Georgia Nicolson 08 by Love Is a Many Trousered Thing Read Free Book Online

floor. He went ballisticisimus, yowling and shivering and attacking the bedside light before leaping back onto the bed and burrowing up from the bottom. His head popped up in between the book and me and he spat at me. Good grief.
    Libby said, “Aaaah naaaaice and comfy. Readey book, Ginger. About Sindyfellow. Now.”
    I am a slavey girl in this family of loons, furry or otherwise.
    ten minutes later
    Blimey O’Reilly, I thought that Heidi was boring, cheese and goats and old grumpy blokes for as far as the eye can see, but Cinderella takes the bloody bee’s pajamas on the boring and depressing front. This is the story: Cinderella lives with her ugly stepsisters. They hate her because she is pretty, although I can’t say I blame the uglies. Looking at the drawing of Cinders, I would be inclined to give her a bit of a duffing-up. She has a very irritating sticky-up nose.
    I read the story as fast as I could to get it over with: “Cinders is doing cleaning cleaning, someponcey bloke in a wig invites the sisters to a ball, Cinderella can’t go because she is in rags and then some bint turns up in wings and changes her frock into a ballgown and some cats and mice and a pumpkin into a coach and horses. Moaning Minnie (Cinders) dances with some other poncey bloke in a wig (not the first one), leaves at midnight, tries on a shoe and marries Prince Wiggy. The end.”
    Libby laughed like a loon the whole way through, I don’t know why. I don’t want to know why.
    You see, this is the sort of story that irresponsible fools (my mutti) make their children read. No wonder they are all mad and covered in cat food like my sister is.
    And of course the whole facsimile of a sham turned to violence because Libby wanted to change Angus into a horse like in the story and banged him with her “wand” (my tennis racket), and the rest is history. Well, the vase in the knitted coverlet that Grandad’s girlfriend Maisie gave me is history, Angus leaped up (not exactly changed into a horse as such) onto the windowsill and careered about, scattering my CDs, photos and the vase all over the place.
    How can I be expected to have a decent snogging relationship with anyone whilst my home life is so bonkers?
    tuesday july 19th
    stalag 14
    I had to practically iron my face this morning. I had slept facedown because I was so exhausted from the nighttime shenanigins and ordure. My nose was flat like a plate, all across my head. I had to use hot flannels to smooth it into a reasonable(ish) state. The only positive thing is that we have German today so at least I will be able to do my premakeup makeup in peace.
    in the cloakroom
    Talking to Jassy about my letter from Robbie, I said, “How come you told Robbie that I hate wildlife?”
    â€œYou do.”
    â€œThat is not the point, you should tell him something about my finer points, not ramble on about rubbish.”
    â€œWhat are your finer points?”
    I may have to kill her, but I won’t be able to doit in Assembly because Hawkeye is on Seeing Eye dog duty this morning. She never seems to tire of hating us. I reckon she limbers up every morning at home, shouting, “I hate all girls, I hate them. What do I do? I hate them!!!”
    fifteen minutes later
    Oh for heaven sakes, why does Slim bother going on and on? What is she talking about now? Isn’t it bad enough that we have to get up at the crack of eight o’clock, get dressed, turn up, hang around all day being bored and depressed and usually get detention for our trouble? But she wants to talk as well. Why? What can she possibly say that would…then I heard the dreaded words “Four A are going on an exciting field trip in the last week of term.” What? What??? I looked at the ace gang and they looked at me. Slim went on, in tip-top jelloid mode. Her nungas were practically doing the Charleston. Separately. She said, “I think it’s marvelous, and just shows