very adult of her, is it? She says she wants space, for Godâs sake. Space. I ask you.â He began rooting for a corkscrew. âAnyway â how come youâre on her side all of a sudden?â
âAm I?â Suzi considered this as she prepared food for the animals. Actually, she didnât want to take sides. She was in a difficult position and sheâd far rather not get involved at all. She ladled food into bowls.
âSo what dâyou reckon she does want?â Liam grumbled.
Suzi considered this. What did most women want? Money? A good sex life? Security? Someone who wanted to cuddle them especially when they had their period? âMaybe Estelle wants to get married,â she suggested.
Liam stared at her. âIs that what she said?â
âNoâ¦â In fact Estelle had said nothing of the kind. But wasnât it about time? Wasnât that what people did?
Suzi warmed to her theme. âMaybe she wants children,â she went on.
âChildren?â Liam made them sound like an alien species. âButâ¦â
âPeople do.â Suzi put the bowls down for the dogs and cats. âSheâs only thirty-nine. Itâs not too late.â She paused, thinking of the biological clock that women talked about, that sheâd never even heard ticking. And she felt a sudden sadness. âIs it?â
Liam seemed to have gone into shock. His eyes glazed, his eyebrows met in a frown and he pushed a hand through his dark curls. âMarriage? Children?â Shaking his head, he managed to recover sufficiently to yank out the cork, pour himself a large glass and down it in one. âIâve asked her,â he said. âI used to ask her quite often.â
âOh.â Suzi was surprised; guilty, she supposed, of falling into the stereotypical way of thinking, that it was the guy who was unwilling to commit. âAnd she refused you?â Part of her couldnât imagine any woman refusing Liam. But then again, not every woman saw Liam through rose-tinted sisterly spectacles.
âShe said, werenât we fine as we were. Are. Were,â Liam told her. âShe said she wasnât sure.â
Of what, Suzi wondered. Or of whom? She had known Estelle for practically her whole life, and yet she could be so secretive. She had never, for example, discussed with Suzi how she felt about marrying her brother. How on earth had that subject got left out? âAnd children?â she ventured.
âNeed security,â Liam snapped. âOr thatâs what sheâs always said. Although why she imagines ââ He broke off abruptly, looked at Suzi. âDo you want to marry Michael?â he demanded.
âGood grief, no.â Suzi was surprised he had to ask. Liam and Estelle had been together for ever, but it was still early days for herself and Michael. And she and Michael had never had the intensity Suzi associated with love. Not that she knew anything about it â having never been in it â but she could make an educated guess. She had dated various men, enjoyed their company, been to bed with one or two who had â like Michael â crept past her wariness, who had liked animals, not tried to dominate her, been kind, sweet, tender. And OK, those men were few and far between. She had to admit that the majority of her adult life had been spent living alone, her passions reserved for CGâs, her animals, her cottage and the books she still consumed voraciously, although she no longer worked in Pridehaven library. But as for love â¦
Anyway, she bent to stroke Castorâs sleek coat and received a head-butt in return. She had her animals, didnât she? She had no reason to feel sad. What did she need with love?
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
It was Saturday afternoon and Estelle paused mid-vacuuming to scan the local paper sheâd picked up from the floor. She flicked the switch, the whine of the vacuum faded
Learning to Kill: Stories