Love me ... Again by Delka Beazer Read Free Book Online Page A

tender with understanding, “you’re shocked?”
    I swallow, smile weakly, “yeah, you could say that.”
    She gives me a tight hug, “don’t worry, we like you already.  You love the land and our way of life, you’ll fit in just fine.”
    I nod, I can’t trust myself to speak, she takes my hand and leads me to the back of the crowd … too late I see where we’re headed and I jerk my hand away from her. She looks askance at me, then to Colt who is trying to slip away but can’t, not with his mother’s sights set on him.
    “Colt!” She gestures him impatiently over to us, he stalls for a moment, then gives in and stomps over. Marjorie turns to me, shrugs, “Colt’s .... stubborn.”
    “Uh huh,” I confirm.
    Marjorie carries on as if Colt can’t hear us from five feet away, “don’t mind him … he doesn’t like anybody.”
    “That’s not true!” the words are out of my mouth before I have time to think. I wince. Marjorie’s face is stunned, but she doesn’t say anything to my sharp retort.
    Colt stands before us, hands thrust deep into his pockets, his golden eyes are cold, and spikes of dark hair springs down onto his forehead, “Mother?” he asks.
    Marjorie draws a resigned breath, “I’m sure you heard Jett and Angie are getting married?”
    Colt’s eyes are unreadable, “Yes,” his voice is clipped as if the word is chipped from him, he will not look at me though I’m silently begging him to.
    Marjorie claps her hands, “Let’s have a barbeque to celebrate.”
    Colt nods, takes off towards the cattle to find a suitable candidate. Marjorie reaches for me, I duck away and without caring I run after Colt.
     
    I follow him, his steps are long, ground eating things made possible by legs just as long and powerful, I have to literally run to draw up beside him.
    “Slow down,” I hiss.
    “Go back,” he barks.
    “You can’t make me,” I fling back childishly.
    He swears harshly, we take a few more steps, he stops and looks back, everyone is too far away to hear us, though we’re plainly in site. The cattle herd is a few yards ahead of us, he glares at me, “what do you think you’re doing?”
    My heart kicks up a beat, but I won’t hide from the truth, “following you,” I admit.
    Torment flares in his eyes, “are you fuckin insane?”
    My lips tremble and my hands clutch into fists, I nod bleakly, “yeah, I’m a weak asshole but I can’t stay away from you.”
    He bears his teeth in a feral snarl, “learn to!”
    Stung beyond endurance I cry out, hastily lower my voice, “Can you? Is it that easy for you?”
    He forgets himself, forgets we’re in plain sight of my husband to be and his family, “You’ve no idea how I feel!” he grinds out between clenched teeth, his nostrils flares.
    I shake my head, try to rub away the sudden cold on my arms, “that’s where you’re wrong buddy,” I look up at him and let him see the torment that twists my face, “I know exactly what you feel, I-“
    “Stop,” he barks softly, he relentlessly searches my eyes, “this is a family, what we wanted isn’t more important. Not anymore.”
    “My marrying Jett is?” I whisper shocked.
    Colt snaps his eyes closed, starts walking again, “we’ve made a choice. It’s for the best.”
    I stop following him, stand in the rich black dirt ploughed through with a thousand hooves. His stiff, tall back going further away from me.
    I have a choice. Go back to Jett and Marjorie and all the others or stay with Colt. I need these last moments alone with him. I keep walking towards him. He sees me come up at some point but he doesn’t comment. We walk around the herd which gets jittery from our close inspection.
    They know something is up. I almost feel sorry for them. Will the mother of the unfortunate calve we’re looking for feel pain like we do. The big, soft brown eyes of the cattle, some heavy with young, tell me that they do. Pain is pain no matter what you are.
    Colt finds a calf just