Love Me Not by Villette Snowe Read Free Book Online Page A

fingertips along her jaw, and as I tasted her lips, she began kissing me back.
    A few minutes later, we were naked in bed. I usually did the new ones in bed, and almost always missionary style. They seemed most comfortable this way.
    Foreplay lasted awhile. She was exceptional at oral sex. Some women only did it because they thought they were supposed to, and some savored the experience. Candace seemed to think I was an ice cream cone. She spent a good fifteen minutes licking.
    I was so ready. I skipped oral sex for her and lay her down. She spread her legs.
    Maybe this time I’d be able to reach climax without thinking about the girl now working out front.
    As Candace and I kissed deeply, I slowly entered her. I was more careful the first time—I didn’t like seeing any pain on their faces. I saw it often if I wasn’t careful.
    Sometimes it amazed me that it still felt this good after all these years. Even the same position didn’t get boring.
    After Candace had a couple orgasms, I knew I needed to finish soon. I tried to focus on her curves and the way she watched me, but just like the rest of today, it didn’t work. I had no problem staying hard, but ejaculation wasn’t going to happen. It pissed me off. I’d never had this problem before.
    Kimber had to make everything fucking difficult.
    I closed my eyes and pressed my face into Candace’s hair, so I couldn’t see who I was actually screwing.
    Then Kimber was there, her image, her voice. It all came so easily. I wondered if this was what it was like to be schizophrenic. Penny was terrified of going nuts, but I thought it might be a relief. I could believe Kimber was with me without dealing with the consequences of being attached. I would not allow myself to be in love again.
    Candace left a few minutes after we were done. I lay in bed, propped up on my elbow, watching her dress. She looked…fulfilled. I liked seeing that expression on a woman’s face, especially when I’d caused it.
    The sex was good for me, but I didn’t feel fulfilled. I didn’t let myself think too hard about it.
    After Candace kissed my cheek, she walked out of the room.
    I flopped down on my pillow and didn’t move the rest of the night. I barely slept. I was too angry.
    At about five a.m., I pulled myself up, showered, and cleaned the room, which really just meant new sheets. My first appointment was early, seven o’clock. Penny would open the shop door and then let her pass through since the shop wasn’t open yet. I supposed letting them come in the back looked too conspicuous.
    This appointment and the next were regulars. Sometimes that was nice. I already knew what they liked. I didn’t have to pay as close attention.
    My thoughts continued to veer in a particular direction. It was starting to be involuntary, perhaps because I wasn’t fighting it so much.
    That pissed me off. I was in control of my own goddamned mind.
    At around noon, I had a break, just enough time to shower and grab some food. I walked out the back so I could avoid everyone in the shop. Apparently, Penny had hired Kimber fulltime. Penny was not on my list of well-liked people right now.
    I walked around the building to the main thoroughfare. Reddish-brown hair shown in the sun just ahead of me.
    Son of a bitch. Could I not get away from the woman?
    I was about to walk the other way when I noticed the direction she was going—toward Barnes and Noble. Before I made the conscious decision, my feet were following her, back several yards so she wouldn’t see me.
    She had to pick the bookstore, the thing that would most pique my curiosity. Books were my weak spot that very few people knew about. Book nerd didn’t jive with the aura I needed to present in my line of work.
    She walked in a good ten feet ahead of me. Once I made it inside, I paused to take a look around, trying to seem casual. I caught a glimpse of her fair skin as she turned a corner; the literature section, my favorite section. Excitement