Lucid by Adrienne Stoltz, Ron Bass Read Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Adrienne Stoltz, Ron Bass
alone on some demonic throne as I’d imagine but is at a picnic table with a group of kids, apparently engaged in friendly conversation.
“Oh, the new kid in my homeroom. What about him?”
Kelly isn’t buying my casual tone. “Enough with this ‘too cool for school’ shit that you pull incessantly. If you’re not going to admit that this dude is an objet d’art, that can only mean that you have a crush on him so disabling that you’ve lost your will to lie persuasively.”
I pretend to take a long, professionally discerning examination of the art object in question.
“Well, compared to The Weed…”
“That was a cheap shot; he’s a very nice kid and quite attractive.”
“Mmm, don’t have him stand next to the new guy in any group photo if you want to convince anyone else of that.”
“So you admit he is hot,” Lila prods.
“Well. He’s more…unusual…than actually hot. Sort of an off-kilter James Franco kind of thing. Maybe James Dean. But prettier. Maybe a little too pretty for his own good. He has the kind of looks that probably change with the angle and the light, so he might be interesting to photograph.”
“Preferably naked,” Lila adds. “And even more preferably, I’m the one holding the camera.”
“Or holding whatever,” Kelly suggests.
Kelly is the only one of us who has had actual sex. As opposed to, I suppose, virtual sex. Lila is very pretty and very religious, which adds up to total horndog. She would be president of the Everything But Club if one existed. She actually thinks she’s saving herself for marriage. An interesting definition of “herself,” since there’s only one thing she’s saved.
As for me, I’m a virgin for a reason that is personal.
Kelly tucks a strand of Lila’s hair behind her ear and tells her, “Sorry to be the buzz kill. He belongs to, drumroll, please, Amanda Porcella.”
“That can’t be true,” Lila says. “Because as a Catholic, I know that there is a God in heaven.”
“They went on Outward Bound together summer before freshman year. Their dads work together at Pfizer. His folks are divorced, he’s lived with his mom in San Francisco all these years, but now that she’s remarrying, it’s dad’s turn.”
“So I’ve never been on Outward Bound,” Lila offers, “but I’m guessing it takes more than building a lean-to together to ‘belong’ to each other.”
“Depends on what you do in the lean-to after it’s built.”
“Okay, now I know you’re full of shit because Amanda has been in CCD with me since we were six and she’d never ever go all the way before marriage for any reason.”
Kelly turns toward the boy, with a sweep of her hand: “Gentlemen of the jury, I present to you exhibit A.”
I stare at James. And for no reason in particular say, “I don’t see him with Amanda Porcella. She’s homecoming queen. She’s popular and friendly and cheery. I just don’t think he’d find her interesting.”
“Sloane, let me introduce you to a species called ‘male.’ She’s interesting.”
“Not to him.” And then, without thinking, I say, “This isn’t me being cool, and it isn’t sour grapes; there’s something about that boy that…”
Kelly looks interested. She watches me stare. “Are you writing a story about him as we speak?”
“Of course not.”
Kelly laughs. “Bullshit. Okay, if you were writing a story about him, who would he be?”
I think for a moment as I watch him talking with the group, eating his sandwich, unaware that Amanda has angled herself toward him hoping for attention. “He’s not a boy who will ever give himself to anyone. And he’s not going to bring anyone any happiness.”
“Wow.” Lila speaks for the two of them, and I feel embarrassed to have said something so pretentious and judgmental and, well, mean. “Well, the good news is I don’t have to compete with you, and as far as I’m concerned, I could love me a little unhappiness. In the right
“Oh, the new kid in my homeroom. What about him?”
Kelly isn’t buying my casual tone. “Enough with this ‘too cool for school’ shit that you pull incessantly. If you’re not going to admit that this dude is an objet d’art, that can only mean that you have a crush on him so disabling that you’ve lost your will to lie persuasively.”
I pretend to take a long, professionally discerning examination of the art object in question.
“Well, compared to The Weed…”
“That was a cheap shot; he’s a very nice kid and quite attractive.”
“Mmm, don’t have him stand next to the new guy in any group photo if you want to convince anyone else of that.”
“So you admit he is hot,” Lila prods.
“Well. He’s more…unusual…than actually hot. Sort of an off-kilter James Franco kind of thing. Maybe James Dean. But prettier. Maybe a little too pretty for his own good. He has the kind of looks that probably change with the angle and the light, so he might be interesting to photograph.”
“Preferably naked,” Lila adds. “And even more preferably, I’m the one holding the camera.”
“Or holding whatever,” Kelly suggests.
Kelly is the only one of us who has had actual sex. As opposed to, I suppose, virtual sex. Lila is very pretty and very religious, which adds up to total horndog. She would be president of the Everything But Club if one existed. She actually thinks she’s saving herself for marriage. An interesting definition of “herself,” since there’s only one thing she’s saved.
As for me, I’m a virgin for a reason that is personal.
Kelly tucks a strand of Lila’s hair behind her ear and tells her, “Sorry to be the buzz kill. He belongs to, drumroll, please, Amanda Porcella.”
“That can’t be true,” Lila says. “Because as a Catholic, I know that there is a God in heaven.”
“They went on Outward Bound together summer before freshman year. Their dads work together at Pfizer. His folks are divorced, he’s lived with his mom in San Francisco all these years, but now that she’s remarrying, it’s dad’s turn.”
“So I’ve never been on Outward Bound,” Lila offers, “but I’m guessing it takes more than building a lean-to together to ‘belong’ to each other.”
“Depends on what you do in the lean-to after it’s built.”
“Okay, now I know you’re full of shit because Amanda has been in CCD with me since we were six and she’d never ever go all the way before marriage for any reason.”
Kelly turns toward the boy, with a sweep of her hand: “Gentlemen of the jury, I present to you exhibit A.”
I stare at James. And for no reason in particular say, “I don’t see him with Amanda Porcella. She’s homecoming queen. She’s popular and friendly and cheery. I just don’t think he’d find her interesting.”
“Sloane, let me introduce you to a species called ‘male.’ She’s interesting.”
“Not to him.” And then, without thinking, I say, “This isn’t me being cool, and it isn’t sour grapes; there’s something about that boy that…”
Kelly looks interested. She watches me stare. “Are you writing a story about him as we speak?”
“Of course not.”
Kelly laughs. “Bullshit. Okay, if you were writing a story about him, who would he be?”
I think for a moment as I watch him talking with the group, eating his sandwich, unaware that Amanda has angled herself toward him hoping for attention. “He’s not a boy who will ever give himself to anyone. And he’s not going to bring anyone any happiness.”
“Wow.” Lila speaks for the two of them, and I feel embarrassed to have said something so pretentious and judgmental and, well, mean. “Well, the good news is I don’t have to compete with you, and as far as I’m concerned, I could love me a little unhappiness. In the right