Lydia's Hope by Marta Perry Read Free Book Online Page B

away, as they normally would.
    The bishop nodded. “Ja, that’s so. It was like something they read about in the newspaper,
     not something they experienced up close.”
    “I understand that, I guess,” she said, knowing her tone was a bit grudging. “But
     Mamm and Daadi still could have told me.”
    “Ja, maybe they should have. Your daad and mamm are upset now for sure. They’re blaming
     themselves for the promises they made and fearing that things will never be the same
     between you.”
    If there was a question in that comment, it was one Lydia didn’t feel able to answer
     yet. At the moment, she couldn’t think of Mamm and Daad without remembering how they’d
     lied to her. Well, maybe not lied, but wasn’t it the same thing, not telling her something
     she had a right to know?
    Forgive,
she reminded herself, knowing she would have to repeat that daily until she really
     felt it.
    “Did you agree with keeping it secret at the time?” Once she’d asked the question,
     she feared it might be lacking in respect. She already guessed the answer, from what
     Daad had said, but she wanted to hear it from the bishop.
    But Bishop Mose didn’t seem offended. He stroked his chest-length beard, the way he
     did when he was considering something. “I understood the family’s decision,” he said
     finally. “I agreed to go along with it, though I feared one day it might explode in
     all our faces. As it has,” he added wryly.
    “Ja.” An explosion was just what it felt like, shattering everything she’d thought
     she knew about herself. “Mamm and Daad seem to think I can forgive and forget and
     go on as if nothing has happened.”
    “Ach, Lydia, I’m sure they know that’s not possible.” He patted her hand, and his
     was as worn and wrinkled as a piece of the leather he worked. “A hurt like this will
     take time and healing.”
    She met his gaze. “Mamm and Daad, even Adam—they don’t want me to get in touch with
     my sisters. But now that I know about them, how can I not try to see them? How can
     I not want to know about those years of my life that I can’t remember?”
    “Your parents and your husband love you,” he said. “They want to take care of you.”
     He paused for a moment. “You should understand that feeling. I’m certain-sure it’s
     the way you feel right now about your little sisters.”
    His words hit her like a blow to the heart. He was right. That was exactly how she
     felt whenever she pictured those two little lost sisters.
    Bishop Mose sighed. “Ach, Lydia, you were born to take care of others, I sometimes
     think. That is a good quality, but one which requires handling, because taking care
     of someone isn’t always what’s best for them.”
    She wrestled with that, almost wishing Bishop Mose didn’t have such insight into the
     human heart. “It’s not wrong, wanting to see them?”
    “No, not wrong unless it leads to something that hurts them.” Bishop Mose patted her
     hand again. “Think about how you feel right now, Lydia. Ask yourself if you want to
     make Susanna and Chloe feel that same way before you rush into telling them.”
    She didn’t want to admit it, but he was right. She would have to be careful, very
     careful, not to do more harm than good.
    Lydia could sense Bishop Mose’s gaze on her, seeming to weigh her very thoughts.
    “Your sister Susanna is Susanna Bitler,” he said deliberately. “She lives in Oyersburg
     with her mother, who is very ill. She is partners in a craft and gift shop with an
     Amish woman named Dora Gaus. It would not be hard to find her if you decide to do
     so. Chloe’s grandmother—well, your grandmother, too—is called Margaret Wentworth.
     All I know about her is that she came from somewhere near Philadelphia.”
    “Denke, Bishop Mose.” He had put the information into her hands and showed he trusted
     her to use it wisely. She only hoped she could. She slid off the stool. “I’ll remember
     everything